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Breaking out of the Scarcity Mindset By Applying the Law of Abundance

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“Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford

“Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you first see inside of you.” – Wally Amos

A Few Definitions:

(I’ll meet you on the other side of them.)

Law of Attraction:

States that you attract what you focus your attention on – whether positive or negative. Think of ways that the law of attraction affects your life right now. Do you regularly think of how you fail with the opposite sex? This will result in you continuing to fail.

The same is true of wealth, happiness, success in your career and anything else you focus on.

Your mind has the power to manifest that which you strongly believe. When you focus on something strongly enough, you make it a reality, so our goal is to harness that power to create a better life.

Law of Scarcity:

An economic system cannot produce all goods and services that consumers want, and most consumers do not have the resources to purchase everything they want. Furthermore, choices must be made about how limited resources (time, money, etc.) are used.

Law of Abundance:

A sub-law of the Law of Attraction. It states that there is enough wealth in the world for everyone to have enough money and resources to live fulfilling lives.

First Thing’s First

I want you to know that this particular post might be confusing. In fact, I’m writing the thing and I still find it confusing. However, if there’s anything I want you to get from this post it’s this:

“Whatever the Mind can see and believe, the Mind can achieve.” – Napolean Hill

Of Nature and Man

“The Creator did not intend for us to be scrubs, and certainly that is not the example that he sets for us.. The essence of the Law of Abundance is that we must believe in abundance.” – Sterling W. Sill

When the Founding Fathers made the Declaration of Independence, they wrote Man had certain Rights. Specifically they wrote, “they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” 

Now let me pose a question to you.

Since many of us believe that Natural Laws are how the Creator governs, wouldn’t it make since that what goes for Nature should be good for Man?

I’m not saying that we should go total caveman and not have laws that Man makes up as we go. Instead, I’m simply saying that Nature’s laws are the foundation of how the world works and Man’s laws fill in the gaps from there. We can’t change how Nature works – so why try?

Imperfect Laws of Man

If Nature is so abundant (which it is, take anything that produces fruit for example), why is it that we limit ourselves to a world of scarcity? I believe it’s because we choose not to live by Nature’s laws but instead, by Man made laws. (In fact, we’ve been moving farther and farther away from Natural Laws.)

The problem with doing that is because Man, as we know, is imperfect. And because he’s imperfect, he’s going to make imperfect laws. Most laws that we create will ultimately cause some other problem that we’ll have to create another law for OR we’ll have to get rid of the previous law all together (Prohibition anyone?).

Take the tax code for example. It could have started off simple but as years go by, it has gotten larger and larger. Why? Because tax, in itself, isn’t natural. So we’ve had to fill in ever smaller and smaller gaps.

Another man made law that’s obviously imperfect and that we’re all familiar with is segregation. Whoever thought that separating people because of their skin color was a good idea was just straight out wrong.

Scarcity is one of these laws as well. Does Supply and Demand makes sense? On the surface it might. I mean, as supply goes down, demand goes up. Wait a second. Was it that when demand goes up that supply goes down? That doesn’t seem right either.

Hmmm… well let’s take a look at an example we’re familiar with: gas prices.

A few years ago, gas was hovering at nearly $4 a gallon here in the States. This was because OPEC wanted as much money as they could get. Demand stayed the same, supply fell, thus the price rose. Ok. Makes sense for them to cut the supply from their perspective. However, now at $2.25 a gallon, we’re seeing OPEC produce like there’s no tomorrow. Why is that? Many sources say it’s because no one can agree on a universal price point. Others might say that they want to cripple other countries around the world including Russia, China, Canada, and the US.

Either way, it’s human intervention. Just by definition, it’s imperfect if not downright confusing!

(Actually, I might go out on a limb and say that Scarcity isn’t a law in itself, it’s actually a lack of law or lack of understanding in how the Law of Abundance works.)

Applying the Law of Abundance (or Attraction)

Now that we’ve looked at why Natural Laws are the laws that we should have high interest in following and why Man made laws are just plain ridiculous at times, let’s look at how we can actually APPLY the Law of Attraction in our lives.

For one, I’m not about to tell you that you simply need to focus on what you want in your life. If only it were that simple. I mean, I love Napoleon Hill, but dude, c’mon. Just thinking about something all day is called day dreaming. Besides the focus, you have to act.

So what kind of actions am I talking about?

First, you need to create a Vision Board (or have a REALLY good idea of what you’re looking for). Not sure how to make one? Next, you need to create a plan to get there. After that, you have to do that work. (If you’re just doing work to do work, then you better be following someone else’s plan or you might find yourself going in circles.)

Scenario 1 – The New Graduate: Let’s say you want to start simple at getting a good job out of school. What is it going to take to get you there? Four things: Good grades in college, a good resume and cover letter, and… NETWORKING! You’ve probably heard of all of these at some point and yes you have to do them all, but the one you really need to create a plan for is networking. If you’re desired job is to work for say… Facebook, how are you going to get there? It’s just not going to happen. Who do you need to talk to? Get that Vision Board going (start with a big ol’ picture of Facebook HQ) and then start working back to where you are now. This is going to involve research in who you should talk to and what job fairs you need to go to, but it’s totally doable.

Scenario 2 – Career Transition: Alright, you’ve had your first job and you want to make a larger impact. What next? Wait to be promoted? Leave the company? Start your own business? Join another startup first? There’s different ways you could go here. Let’s say we want to start our own business but we don’t know if we can handle it. Great, let’s join another startup for a couple of years and get some experience. (Hey, it’s what I did!)

Preferably, you shouldn’t join a company that does what you want to do. Otherwise, you might burn some bridges when you leave (if that’s your plan). But just like the first time, let’s get that job with a plan. Another thing you might consider here is if you want to be a full time employee or work as a 1099 contractor. As a full time employee you’ll have benefits, but you’ll have less options to do outside work. As a contractor, you’ll be in charge of ALL your taxes, but you’ll be able to write off expenses. There’s pros and cons in both.

Scenario 3 – Start Your Own Business: Time to start your own business! Some things to consider here: what kind of business is it going to be? How much would you like to be making? Are you looking at a deep foundation (like I am with New Inceptions)? Are there any similar businesses out there that you can model after?

These are all things you’ll need to think about. If there are similar businesses out there, see if you can’t do some research in how they got from point A to point B. If it’s an online business, use the Way Back Machine to see if you can get some clues in how they started. If you’re doing something new or just want a community to help you, you might want to consider joining Fizzle to help you out. If you’re planning on going old school brick and mortar, do some market research first. Is there an interest in your area of what you’re doing? Would it be best if you started elsewhere? Maybe start online first and then go brick and mortar? Lots of choices.

Either plan you go, you need to put in the work. And we’re here for you anytime you need help in figuring out the next step.

Homework:

So which scenario above best describes you? If you don’t think any of them do, let us hear what your particular situation is. Also, feel free to let us know how you’ve used the Law of Abundance (or Attraction) to get ahead in the past or how you’re currently using it!

Top 10 Podcasts You Could Be Listening To (and 5 You Can Start On!)

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Inspired by Cam’s video above, I thought I’d share with you all the podcasts that yours truly listens to as well. I mean, one of the things that we want to do in the newly created New Inceptions Masterminder group on Facebook is feature other people’s work. Not only does it build community when you promote others, but it also helps people find things they might not have known about in the past.

One of the things that LTD talked about all the time and that you might have heard is the phrase Leaders are Readers.

And I think that phrase has it’s merit. I believe to be a leader that you constantly have to be learning. When you’re learning, you’re moving forward. Likewise, if you’re not learning, you’re moving backwards.

However I believe that in today’s age many people don’t read as much as they used to. For example, while Facebook is full of text, it’s the videos that tend to go viral – not posts. For me, I’m naturally an audio person. I feel that videos and books must have your full attention to leave an impression. However, with audio (radio, podcasts, books on tape) I feel that you can be doing something (driving, walking, working out) and still be somewhat engaged in the material that you’re listening to.

So audio, I believe, is the one medium that every expert or online business person should be utilizing to build their audience. I’d imagine that podcasters would agree with this.

 

If you’ve never listened to a podcast, it’s never too late to start. Podcasts are generally free and can range in all kinds of topics, as Cam mentioned in the video above. I’ve been aware of them since I first had an iPod (2007’ish) but I believe they’ve been around longer than that. The reason you might not have heard too much about them is because they’ve been in somewhat of a rollercoaster of popularity over the years, but I think this current swing is a fairly large one.

So to help you get started (or maybe to just give you some more options), I’m going to share with you 10 podcasts that I’m currently listening to on a regular basis. And then, I’m going to give you my top 5 that I recommend that you should definitely add to your list whether or not you currently listen to them or are a newbie listener.

I will point out that I don’t expect you to listen to all of these all the time. Unless you commute daily and consider your car to be a mobile university, my recommendation would to pick topics that interest you.

The Top 10 Podcasts I’m Currently Listening To:

Smart Passive Income (Average Run Time [ART]: 45 minutes) – This is the first podcast that I ever started listening to. Over the years, Pat has done remarkably well with it. While I don’t visit his blog as much as I once did and don’t find myself regularly checking out his other material (which includes 2 more podcasts, a regular programmed YouTube channel, and “playing” around on Periscope), I do keep coming back to the original podcast. I think the main reason is his wide scope of guests that he has on the show. While he does manage to get big names on there from time to time (Gary Vee and Tim Ferris to name a couple), I think his real bread and butter is highlighting normal people who have successfully built an online business.

Solopreneur Hour (ART: 1 hour+) – Michael and his show recently came on the radar a couple of months ago when he was interview by Pat. I completely love his style of talking with people very casually. Just in the little bit of time that I’ve been listening, there have been HUGE bombs of wisdom dropped that I’ve used in either mindset or just getting things done. His background is definitely interesting in that he’s had big swings in his success. He’s killed it recently in the MLM world, but before that he moved from one place to another, struggling as he went. Oh and he loves his dog.

Joel Osteen Podcast (ART: 25 minutes)- This particular “podcast” helped me quite a bit when I lost my mom back in 2011. I was going through a transitional time in my life and having her pass just added to all the emotions of leaving college and entering “the real world”. While Joel might not be everyone’s cup of tea, I do think that certain people that are on hard times can be picked up by his inspirational message. Generally Maria and I will listen to this one together. (Also, there’s a video version of it as well as it’s simply the recording of his weekly televised show.)

The Charged Life (ART: 12 minutes) – Not as spiritual as Joel’s podcast, Brendon’s podcast is a quick message that he delivers about certain topics related to getting his listeners out of what he calls the “Caged” and “Comfortable” life. Like Joel’s podcast, there’s a video version of this one too which you can find on YouTube.

The Way I Heard It (ART: 5 – 7 minutes) – As being a fan of Mike Rowe since he started Dirty Jobs, I feel like I’m kind of in the same boat as him. Especially when it comes to how he is amazed by interesting people who do interesting things. This particular podcast was talked about during his interview with Tim Ferriss, and I thought I’d give it a go. Really glad I did! If you liked Paul Harvey’s The Rest of the Story, then you’ll love this – which is done in the same fashion.

Unmistakable Creative (ART: 55 minutes) – This show originally started out as the Blogcastfm.com show which was geared pretty much towards to what Pat talks about. In fact, Pat had Srinivas, the host, on his show back in 2013. However, around the time that Srini was on Glenn Beck’s show, was when the podcast was changed to it’s current form. At any rate, I’m still a fan of Srini’s and love the guests that he has on here.

The Fizzle Show (ART: 1 hour) – Another podcast and group I heard about from Pat’s podcast. While I love Pat, having three hosts on a podcast sounded very unique to me. While this format works well on the radio, not many people have used it for pure podcasting – at least not with the ones I’m familiar with. It’s because of this show that we decided to go with format that we did for the Angles of Lattitude Podcast. (Also, remember, that you can get your first month of being a Fizzler for free by going through this link here.)

Art of Charm (ART: 15 minutes to 1 hour) – Jordan Harbinger and his pals started the Art of Charm as a coaching service to guys who wanted to be better men. For a long time, that was the focus of the show. However, as soon as I started listening to the show regularly in 2012-2013, they started changing the focus a little more on just finding out how interesting guests became their current successful self. I will say that if you’re anyone who needs to work on your self image or confidence, that this might be a show worth your time to listen to. Guests on the show include upper tier successes.

StarTalk Radio (ART: 50 minutes) – I think this was the 2nd podcast I started listening to. It’s funny, but Neil deGrasse Tyson is one of my favorite popular scientists in today’s pop culture. He was the 1st host of the recent Cosmos (there might be future seasons from what I hear) and he’s also known for his phrase “We have a badass over here”. So it seems fitting that he hosts a show (typically with a comedian co-host) where they talk with guests about pop culture and science.

The School of Greatness (ART: 5 minutes to 1 hour+) – Like many other podcasts that release multiple times a week, the School of Greatness by Lewis Howes has long shows and a short show on Friday. Personally, I picked his podcast up in 2013 when I heard that he had started it. Being familiar with him by him being Pat’s podcast (where else?) and talking about webinars and LinkedIn, I thought he might be interesting to listen to as well. Fast forward a couple of years and I think he’s more known for doing the show now than he was with those previous topics. Types of guests that he has on the show typically are pretty successful, but a lot of the time he tends to mix in some pretty good topic editions (those are normally his short ones).

My Recommended Top 5 Podcasts for the Podcast Newbie

If you’re just getting into podcasts, I wouldn’t recommend subscribing on iTunes to all of these just yet. Honestly, there’s a crap load of information coming from these folks and I don’t want you to get hammered with too much all at once. If you’re finding my list, there’s a good chance you have an interest in improving your career. So, what I’ll do for you is give you the ones I think would help you out the most in that quest. Then later on, you can come back and subscribe to the other ones I listen to for edutainment.

These are in order of how relevant they are based on where you might be in your career. The first three are for anyone while the latter two are geared more towards people who want to be experts in their field.

  1. Art of Charm – Basically just teaches people how to crush it all around – in their jobs, in their relationships, and in life. Jordan is very engaged with his guests which is interesting. You can tell he does his homework. He comes across as a fan of everyone he talks to.
  2. School of Greatness – Like the Art of Charm, however, Lewis lets the guest talk way more which definitely makes it a different show.
  3. The Charged Life – I think more people need to be aware of Brendon and what he offers. Ideally, at New Inceptions, we’re trying to help you move from a Caged or Comfortable life to a Charged Life as well.
  4. Smart Passive Income – I think it’s important that people know that there’s a way that you can make an income on the side using the skills that you already use day in and day out. While Brendon does that for a premium (he can, too – he shows you EVERYTHING you need to do to be a success in expert space) Pat shows you how to do it all for free. He’s also exposed so much of the world to me in general, that I couldn’t not post his show.
  5. Solopreneur Hour – I like his technique. It’s hard to say how much he actually researches his guests, but I think that adds to his style. He and Pat say that they don’t research their guests too much because they want to sound more authentic when finding things out. However, he does seem to know a lot about most of them. I like the conversation effect that this gives his show.

Homework:

I’d love for you to check these out and let us know what you think. If you’re a podcast newbie, take a listen to my recommended top 5 and let us know which one sounds the most interesting to you. What did you like about them? What didn’t you like about them? If you were to make a podcast, what would you focus on? If you’re already a host, please let us know about your podcast below. Be sure to tell us why you started it and what your focus is. Let yourself be heard!

5 Steps to Meet New People at Live Events

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“Be genuinely interested in everyone you meet and everyone you meet will be genuinely interested in you.”

― Rasheed Ogunlaru

If you’re an introvert, you’ve probably had instances of where you feel alone – even if you’re in the middle of a room of people. You look around you and all you see are others having a good time. You wouldn’t mind having fun too, but you don’t know anyone. To keep from looking like a loser, you play around with your phone or, better yet, start tinkering with any musical instruments that might be available. At the same time, you might be wondering, “How did I get here?” and “How do I get out?”. And, to be honest, you’re not alone.

Funny enough, all people are social. It’s part of being human. Otherwise you wouldn’t have come to this event. The catch is that some people are social in a different ways than others. Introverts, by our very nature, tend to have just a few key relationships at any one given time. However, there are times where we need to expand our horizons and meet other people that might be new friends… or, better yet, help us move on in life.

So here’s the million dollar question. How do you meet people at live events? Below is a 4 part strategy I’ve used to meet interesting people at events that I have gone to in the past.

Get Your Mind Right

Whether you’re at a job fair, a party, or a networking meeting, there are going to be people you just don’t know. But the thing is that everyone you know now besides your family are people at one time you didn’t know – (even your gaming group if you’re a gamer). How did you become friends with those people? More than likely you shared something in common. The people who are around you at this event, what do you share with them in common? That’s where you can start the conversation.

Also, there’s a good chance that other people there are introverts too and they’re just as scared as you are in reaching out. The problem is, you won’t know immediately who those people are. So it’s best to just think of all of these new faces as being just as worried as you.

Before moving onto the next part of the strategy, I want to note that just because you’re there for a certain reason doesn’t mean that you have permission to interact with people based on that permission. In fact, you probably don’t want to. Most people can sense when others want to take advantage of them. So the idea is that you don’t want to go into meeting people thinking that you’re going to get something. That type of thinking will more than likely backfire. Instead, think of yourself as a co-host of the event. You’re just there to make sure everyone has a good time. Genuinely care about those around you. Introduce people to other people. Or if you know of a tool or trick that can help someone else, teach them about it. If you can’t care about those around you, you might just want to rethink about the reason you’re there.

Make a Plan

The truth is that you’re probably not going to know everyone at this event, but that’s ok. If you’ve ever gone to a job fair, you know that it helps to research companies that are going to be there. However, not all events are job fairs, and not everyone is a recruiter. So how do you prepare?

Depending on the event, there’s a good chance you might actually know one person: the host. Even if you don’t know the host, they’re the easiest person to find out information on. So see what you can dig up on them. That’s the first thing.

The next thing you could do is email them or any other people who are putting the event together. See if there is anything you can do to help set up the event or just help in general. Even if it’s a party or cookout, helping with the keg, cleaning up, or simply helping move furniture would be appreciated.

As mentioned before, you might want to act as co-host and make the actual host’s job easier. Ask them if there’s anything you can do during the event. There might be a couple of people that might need to be paid more attention to or there might be a position that could use assistance. If the host doesn’t have anything for you, simply be interested in what others are doing and up to. Act the part of the co-host anyway. Ask if you can get them anything, help them with anything, or simply be friendly. Whether or not you’re given things to do by the host or you just play the part, you’ll get the chance to meet some interesting people AND you’ll have purpose for why you’re engaging with them.

Be Present at the Event

So the big day has arrived and you’re on your way to the event. Time to get friendly, right?

Wrong. Actually, you should have started getting friendly before this point. One thing I do on the day of event is make sure that I’m loaded up on caffeine and talked to anyone about anything that day. Get the awkwardness out early. In fact, I try to have talked to at least 5 people before I go to the event just so my mind is awake and I’m receptive to whatever might go on at the event.

Having problems chatting with people? Trying to overthink your entry banter? Don’t. Instead, think of a simple acronym: F.O.R.M.  This stands for Friendly, Occupation, Recreation, and Message.

  • Friendly – Just take a stab at the weather or compliment something that the person is wearing. Find out what brings them to the event.
  • Occupation – Ask them what they do for a living. People love talking about what they have to think about all day. Feel free to ask about how things work or why they enjoy doing that particular job.
  • Recreation – They can only talk about work for so long, however. Ask them about what they like to do for fun. Find out what they like doing with their family. You might luck out and have something in common there. Just make sure you’re not drilling them with question after question.
  • Message – If this person sounds cool, then perhaps it might be a good idea to get to know them further.  “Hey, if you’re ever in the area, we should play a round of… ” or “Hey, I’d love to pick your brain about…” or even “Hey, the next time you’re in town, I’ll show you around.” People love to be invited to do things or to get to talk about their journeys. If none of those are good requests, just let them know what you’re looking for and let them know you’ll be in contact as well about what they’re looking for.

It doesn’t have to be genius talk. But don’t be a robot and do it with everyone, change it up a little bit. Also, for bonus, if there are business cards being passed out, feel free to write some notes on it about them.

Another thing you can do is smile. When people look your direction, just a grin and a nod will do. Smiles are contagious and they show confidence. However, just make sure you don’t go overboard.

If people are a little reserved, be reserved with them. As an introvert, you should have this part down!

Of course this all doesn’t matter if YOU’RE NOT PRESENT. To be truly present is to make sure you’re giving the person you’re speaking with all of your attention. Listen and hear what they’re actually saying when you’re engaging with them. In fact, now would be a good time for me to mention that you never know who a person knows. At any one time, you might be one person away from having your world turned upside down (for the better). So make sure you’re in the moment.

Follow Up

Was there someone that you truly connected with at the event? If so, you need to reconnect with them in 24 to 48 hours. This is Networking 101. Best way that I can think of doing this is by following up with some sort of link or article that might help with something that they mentioned. If you don’t have anything to offer, just send a message saying it was nice to meet them. If you wait longer, there’s a good chance that it might never happen OR they might have forgotten you.

If they really changed your perspective on things, feel free to go for the mentions on Social Media, or if you have a platform, feel free to write about them there too!

Be Unforgettable By Being You

Finally, I’ll say that to be remembered, you need to be you. If you’re talking with someone that you look up to or you think might be looking down on you, don’t try to be a Puffer Fish. Being someone you’re not will inevitably blow up in your face.

If you’re worrying about what to say in person, write in a followup, or do… Stop. Just care about who you’re engaging with. In the end, we’re all going along the same path. Go for authenticity. Just say hi, introduce yourself, and go from there.

Homework:

The next time you hear yourself wanting to meet new people, whether it’s for a new job, to find new clients, or just to gain new friends, feel free to use these tactics. The more you practice these 4 steps to engage with people, the easier it will become for you to talk with others in the future. Remember, this is simply a framework to get you out of your shell at first. There is nothing wrong with changing the game up a bit or seeing what works for you.

Chime in below with your results or if you’ve recently figured out how to engage with people let us know what worked for you.

Tribute to Scott Dinsmore: Making Life Decisions with Your Dreams in Mind

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“It’s insecurity that is always chasing you and standing in the way of your dreams.” – Vin Diesel

I heard the news last Tuesday night about Scott Dinsmore’s passing after I had published the last post. If you didn’t know who Scott was and what he was about, then you need to watch the above video just to get a glimpse into how he lead his life. Talk about passion.

There are many tribute pieces to him around the web from some of his closest friends.

So I’ll let them speak about what he personally meant to them:

Personally, I didn’t know Scott too much. I’ve learned more about him after his passing than I did when he was still around. I feel it is extremely unfortunate. I feel as if I have lost a friend that I didn’t get to know because we had such a similar passion in helping others release their inner passions.

I was going through his posts to get more of a feel for the guy. And I have to admit that this recent one struck me in particular:

How to Avoid Making the Wrong Big Decisions (like choosing the wrong path).

When it came to making big life decisions, he didn’t believe that you had to jump completely in. In fact, he believed that we should simply test the waters before we go all into big life decisions.

I couldn’t agree more.

Yet, some of us will find fault with even doing just that much. We might have chosen a path because that’s what we felt was ultimately the best choice based on personal bias and beliefs. Does that make it truly the best one for us?

The truth is while we want to choose the right path for us, we all have personal biases that will make it easier to stay on the path we are currently on. Many times that “auto-path” is dictated by external forces which don’t know or care about the life we’re trying to lead.

“If we don’t know what we’re looking for, we’re never going to find it.” – Scott Dinsmore

Seeing Life Decisions From Different Angles

We all know that sometimes we don’t feel like we’re free to just “do our own thing”. Especially when it comes to making decisions regarding our careers.

In fact, here are some thoughts you might be having which prohibit you from following your dreams:

  • I’m sacrificing my dreams so my kids don’t have to.
  • I’m doing this because it was what my parents always wanted to do, but didn’t get the chance to.
  • I chose this career, and damn it, hell or high water, I’m going to make it work!
  • I don’t want to waste MORE time getting ANOTHER degree!

Do any of these sound familiar? I know that I have several friends that subscribe to the first one. I know a few who claim the second. And I was definitely a candidate for the third and fourth reasons myself.

Are these actually true? Or are these self imposed restraints and beliefs that we’ve placed to protect ourselves from potential future “failures”? Where did we get these ideas? Were they from us or others?

To find out the best path in life for you, you need to be able to see the problem from multiple angles and even more specifically, how does it affect your overall life goals? Each one of the above statements could be reframed as a question in regards to your personal goals.

  • If I want to be a good role model for my kids, how is not following my dreams being a good example?
  • Is the world the same as it was when my parents wanted to have that role? Even so, why should I let them dictate what I do?
  • Am I letting my pride and ego get the best of me? Why can’t I be the next great story of someone making a big transition?
  • What if you’re wasting more time (and money) by not following your true gifts? Also, who said anything about getting another degree?

However, if you don’t know what you want out of life and your career, then you won’t ask yourself these types of questions.

With these questions asked, will you think differently about your situation? I’m sure you will. (In fact, these last two questions are what have helped set me free of my old path.)

It’s when you start asking questions like these and questioning the status quo on goals in life, whether or not your current path is working out for you or not. Don’t let your personal bias and your past dictate your future. Be open, present, and truthful with yourself when making big decisions.

Homework:

The next time you feel yourself thinking about a big life decision and coming to a conclusion, ask yourself if you looked at it from every angle you could think of in regards to it affecting your life goals.

Was it a signing up for a mini-marathon? Was it about getting more serious with your current significant other? Was it about taking a job that paid more?

Naturally, without knowing specific goals, these all seem like they would be good things in your life to do if you have the opportunity.

But that might not be the case:

If you sign up for a mini-marathon too late and unprepared, your body isn’t going to appreciate it. You just can’t wing it.

If you want to get more serious with someone you have conflicts with regularly… is that the best person you could get serious with?

If a job is going to pay more but it makes you relocate AND makes you work more hours – is that really helping you towards your goals and aspirations?

Next time you have a great opportunity, think more about how it affects the dreams that you’ve set out to achieve, and less about the immediate impact of it.

Why You Should Stop Being A Victim and Learn How to Forgive

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The fact is, violence is not only not a beautiful thing, but it’s also very painful and not without consequences for the perpetrator as well as the victim. – Clint Eastwood

There really is no difference between the bully and the victim. – Lady Gaga

Did you know that if you hold grudges that you’re actually letting the person or people you have that grudge against win? Let’s discuss how you can stop being a victim so you can learn how to be yourself again.

The Rise of the Victimhood Culture

I was recently made aware of a post that was published last Friday (9/11/15) about The Rise of Victimhood Culture. In it, the author, Conor Friedersdorf, talks about a new scholarly paper (Microaggression and Moral Cultures, Bradley Campbell and Jason Manning) that actually identifies that a culture of victimhood is indeed on the rise – especially in college settings.

He also mentions three types of culture: honor, dignity, and victim.

Honor Culture:

These are types of culture in which people (mainly men) maintain their honor by responding to insults, slights, and violations of rights by self-help violence. “Cultures of honor tend to arise in places where legal authority is weak or non-existent, and where a reputation for toughness is perhaps the only effective deterrent against predation or attack,” write Campbell and Manning. They note that honor cultures still exist in the Arab world and among street gangs in Western societies. (Fans of Sci-Fi would know that Klingons are all about this kind of culture.)

Dignity Culture:

During the 19th century, most Western societies began the moral transition toward dignity cultures in which all citizens are legally endowed with equal rights. Dignity does not depend upon reputation but exists as unalienable rights that do not depend on what other people think of one’s bravery. Having a thick skin and shrugging off slights become virtues because they help maintain social peace. The aphorism that “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” is practically the motto of dignity cultures.

Campbell and Manning add, “Insults might provoke offense, but they no longer have the same importance as a way of establishing or destroying a reputation for bravery. [Furthermore], when intolerable conflicts do arise, dignity cultures prescribe direct but non-violent actions.”

Victim Culture:

And just so we have a definition, in a victim culture individuals and groups display high sensitivity to anything that conflicts with them. When they have a conflict, they have a tendency to handle the conflict through complaints to third parties (such as cops, blogs, petitions, and the government) and seek to cultivate an image of being victims who deserve assistance.

Victim Cultures – Are They Good or Bad?

At the end of Conor’s article, he asks if Dignity Culture is better than Victim Culture. At face value, I think that it’s kind of hard to tell. If you see wrongs in the world and want to do something about them, the easiest way to do that is to play the victim. It is effective and I think that’s why so many people have started doing it.

That said, does that make it right?

If you want to correct a social imbalance perhaps at the price of your own personal freedom, it just might seem like the most effective way to do it. If that’s what you believe is right, then sure. I guess it’s right from that perspective.

However, if you’re like me, and you don’t want the outside world to define you (and you especially don’t want your personal freedoms taken), then the first thing you have to realize is that playing the victim card puts a stereotypical label on you. That label might be that you’re weak, that you’re ignorant, or you just might be Chicken Little (the sky is falling!).

This is why the Dignity Culture is called what it is. In the dignity culture’s perspective, people who cry that they are a victim lack dignity. They feel that victim’s lack self-respect and a sense of pride. To a point, this is understandable. No one likes a tattle-tale. So people who continually cry wolf are eventually going to wear out their welcome.

Not only that, but often times you can see the victim become the bully. In one instance, one group might see the first group getting preferred treatment due to their victimization. That second group might feel belittled themselves. Another instance might be that the victim now feels that they have a right to act a certain way. That if others do it to them, then they’re allowed to do it to others.

To me, I can’t say that the Dignity Culture is better than the Victim Culture. I think both have some good and negative traits to them. There are times when Whistleblowing needs to occur. In a straight Dignity Culture, it would never happen. People would be told to suck it up regardless of whatever occurred. However, if someone is repeatedly using the victim card to get things that they believed are entitled to them, they need to get a better understanding of what Rights and Privileges are.

Don’t Take Things Personal – Learn to Live through Forgiving

So how does this all relate to living a happier life and a more fulfilling career? It’s actually pretty simple.

The more things that we trust third parties to solve the less power we give ourselves. The less power we give ourselves, the less potential our life will have. Unless we expect third parties to give things to us, we must work for them ourselves.

To work for things takes energy. So does holding in negative energy towards others. The more negative energy you hold in, the more you taint yourself with that energy. In the end, negative energy consumes your true self and your true potential. Learn to forgive so you don’t let the “bad guys” win.

Homework:

Are you holding any grudges? If so, ask why you hold them. Is it from something that happened last week? Last month? Or last decade? How long is enough to punish yourself with those emotions. The longer you let other people get to you, the longer they’ve “won”.

If you’ve let go of some grudges, let us hear about them below and how you’ve felt since releasing that self-imposed stress.

Why We Procrastinate and What You Can Do About It

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Procrastination. Wow, if you wanted to talk about what has been my Achilles’ heel since college (and even before then)… it’s probably this. I’ve been doing a lot of research lately in trying to figure out a fix for my procrastination. And what I’ve come to find is that there is indeed a reason for why we procrastinate. In a nutshell, the following video by Vik Nithy shows the psychological reasoning behind why we do it:

If that description is too analytical for you, then you can find a drawn out and very relatable version here.

The Gist of Why We Procrastinate

There are two parts of your brain (literally and figuratively) that are at odds with each other when it comes to getting stuff done. You have a smart part, and a dumb part.

The smart one, which holds your personality and all of your good intentions, is telling you that you have something that needs to be done.

However, the dumb one, well, all it wants to do is just surf the web, play video games, or go screw around outside. Funny enough, part of it is in charge of decision making, play, and panicking.

It also doesn’t help that the dumb one also stores the factory of Dopamine. And let me tell you something about it… Dopamine is a hell of a drug. Gaming to me in the past might almost be as good as cocaine. (For more info on why people do cocaine: Cocaine stimulating Dopamine release.)

So, obviously, the fight between the smart part of your brain vs the dumb part is actually kind of won before it even starts if our brain is more receptive to short term rewards than long term ones.

In short, the more you’ve given in to short term rewards in the past, the more your brain is literally addicted to their effects – whether or not you had long term goals or not.

Three Steps We Can Use to Effectively Battle Procrastination

In the video above, Vik talks about 6 key things you must do to battle procrastination:

  • Plan Goals
  • Plan Time
  • Plan Resources
  • Plan the Process
  • Plan for Distractions
  • Plan for Failure

I’m going to kind of theme them together in three steps so that it’s something you do a little more automatically when you’re trying to avoid procrastination when starting a new project.

You want to do something? First, you need to research the hell out of it. What do top experts say in doing that? What does it look like when you’re done? Is it worth your time in pursuing it? This is how you start planning your process. The dumb part of your brain should have no difficulty looking this stuff up – especially if it’s something you have a passion to do. (If it does, you might need to plan this phase out too.)

As part of your process planning, figure out what you have and don’t have to get the job done. Are you trying to learn a new language? A new skill? Do some inventory checking and get those missing things of what you’re going to need. (It might be as simple as downloading an app!)

Effective Journaling and Planning Your Week takes care of goals and time. However, as you’re planning out your week to work on a project or your months to work on a new skill, I’d plan for almost twice as long to get the thing accomplished.  You’re going to run into some bumps in the road (failures and distractions). Either the dogs will want to go out three times during your project or the kids might want for you to go watch them at their baseball game in the 2nd week of your training. But when you’re done with those distractions, you’ll come back and be able to get right back on track because you’ll have your goals written down.

Homework:

So the next time you’re wanting to do something, be it recording a podcast, or even learning how to ride a bike at the age of 34, I want you to see if you can set yourself up from inception to completion: Research, plan and journal your activities. Come back and let me know how it works out for you! Or, if you’ve already implemented it, drop a comment below.

Extra Points: Identify what kind of procrastinator you are here. If it doesn’t exist, name it and let us know why you came up with that name.

How to Be More Influential By Adding Great Value to Others

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“Happiness doesn’t result from what we get, but from what we give.” – Dr. Ben Carson

“People don’t know how much you know until you show how much you care.” – Dr. John C. Maxwell

Two of my favorite quotes. You know that people will listen if you share knowledge that helps them. Want to go a little further and get some influence? Add some value to their lives. In today’s post, we’ll be talking about how you can be more influential with people by bringing them value.

So what did you learn from that? Hopefully you got the impression that giving value is important in sales. You say you’re not in sales? O contraire! You definitely are!

Did you know that every day people are selling themselves? Whether it’s a salesperson doing a direct sale or an engineer with a proposal for a project, or a mother trying to get her kid to eat vegetables, everyone is selling. Everyone is thinking about how they’re going to influence their audience (the customer, the client, or kid) to buy their product or services, or eat carrots.

One of the largest difference makers in making that sale is whether or not that person has influence on their audience.

As Jeffrey said, he tries to give value first… and that’s what gets you influence.

Which is much different than what a lot of people do today. Instead of looking for the win-win, they’re looking for the “how can I use this person”? The person who is looking for the win-win is looking how to give value. The second type is taking value. The first one is the influencer while the second one, I think, is the persuader… the manipulator.

Giving Value in our Daily Lives

Before we talk about giving value in our professional life, let’s just make sure we get a better idea of what giving value means for sure. Something simple. Nothing drastic.

If you were to give value in something that you’re already doing right now, how would you do that? You might be thinking that you’d have to start thinking and acting differently than you currently do. But would you really? I’m sure there’s things in your life that you’re already doing for others that give them value. For instance, while I’m the guy of the household, and traditionally men supposedly don’t cook, I know that I can bring value by being the person who cooks dinner on a regular basis.

Think about something you might be good at that you could use to benefit those around you. Believe me, it’ll help later.

Giving Value In our Careers

In the professional space, you might think that people are looking to get ahead of each other by beating each other down. By stealing ideas and contacts. It’s total competition out there – even in the same company. People are trying to beat each other for that next position. So you have to take what you can get! When the boss asks you a question, you better respond with a “Yes, sir!” response.

Right?

Wrong.

First off, that’s not a very confident mindset. People will notice that you’re afraid of the workplace if you have that kind of perspective. So let’s try to look at things from another perspective. One of collaboration.

For one, instead of using that quick to respond with definite answers, let’s try to answer questions with questions. Obviously we don’t want to make it obvious. But let’s try to dig deeper for something that will be a better solution instead of something that’s a quick fix. The more you know about a certain subject, the more thorough you can be about about your solution.

A way you can do that, for example, is enter any meeting that you have with 4 questions that you want to get answered:

What are the goals (short and long term)?

Who is the audience?

What is the capabilities of your group and/or department?

How do you measure success?

As you become a person who helps think things out (as opposed to going to the know it all quick fix), people start coming to you for help.

Another way that you can add value to people is being what’s know as The Connector (as Malcolm Gladwell calls them) or the Linchpin (as Seth Godin refers to them).

The idea of this particular person is that they’re a main hub of a certain network of people. They’re the ones who can carry out a conversation with someone from one year to next without ever acting like time has passed. Generally speaking, these people know where they met someone and what they were doing at the time.

If this sounds like you or you want to become one, I recommend reading The Tipping Point and/or Linchpin to find out more.

The third way that you can add value, or even if you’re unsure, is to ask yourself these three questions:

Is what I’m doing or the acts that I’m performing different but also includes ideas that other people from the group have thought about? (You don’t want to come off as being too maverick!)

Is this a great contribution? Is this work something I’ve strived for excellence in? (Don’t half ass your work. Remember the Agreement: Always do Your Best)

Do I really care about what I did? Did I see this in perspective of helping other people? (Again, think about the quote at the beginning of this post.)

 

Homework:

The next time you want to influence your peers, family, or audience, think about how you’re going to add value to them. What is something only you can provide to the group? A perspective? Experiences? Make sure you’re providing that information not because you want to manipulate but because you want to truly help. You’d be surprised what will happen as time goes on.