Tying Heartstrings: The #1 Way to Increase Influence, Traffic, and Income

I know this is a little to the point, but I’m going to admit it. I’ve found the secret to building a successful business… and you might not like it. However, it’s worked for tons of people around the web. And honestly, if you want to make an impact on others doing something you love, then you’re going to have to do it.

What’s this big it? What’s this secret? It’s being your genuine self and setting on a journey to master yourself.

When I say that, what kind of thoughts come to mind? Do you think of being a skilled speaker? Do you think of someone that hustles 24/7? Maybe you think of mastering the skill of connecting people? Perhaps you think of becoming a great author?

Perhaps you think about all those things. Maybe, none of them come to mind.

When I say “master yourself” or as others might put it become the ideal you”, I don’t mean for you to change who you are as a person. However, I might be asking for you to change your perspective of who you are and what you’re capable of.

Everyone is Different

From school, we know that certain kinds of people tend to resonate with others who are like them. Generally speaking, introverts get along real well with other introverts and extroverts get along well extroverts.

However, while this all true, we’re all different even more than that. Some introverts will like sports just as much as some extroverts. Some extroverts will love meditating as much as some introverts.

There were the groups that were popular. There were the band geeks. There were those of us who were into science.

It’s simple to say that there are all kinds of people. Your way of presenting yourself and your interests will resonate more with some people more than it does with others. Just as an example, I’ve met people who resonate more with Gary Vee more than they resonate with Ramit Sethi – even though, both are very direct in what they have to say and teach very similar topics.

To simplify what I am saying is this: the ideal you is someone that is not only a master of themselves, but someone that can communicate that self to others that will appreciate it.

I believe that the more compassion you show towards others, the more others will return for more in the future, and quite possibly, help you out in the future as well!


So, How do I Communite Myself Better to Others?

To say it in one word, be nice. Be honest, responsive, grateful, and go the extra mile for your audience.

On Monday, I was reminded about this once again when I was watching Brian Fanzo on Periscope. In this particular scope he said, that in the next year that three things were going to be huge in being a success in marketing (specifically live streaming):

  • Community
  • Storytelling
  • Engagement

Ask yourself, why are these things important? I’ll give you a moment.

It’s because they’re all things that people can connect with. As the host of the scope, you’re being nice here.

  • When you welcome others that are like you into a community, they realize that they’re no longer alone.
  • When you tell a story, they can connect you to others on so many levels. Your audience can relate better to who you are. They can agree that you want the same things in life. And furthermore, stories can even help people realize that your life and theirs are similar.
  • When you engage with someone who takes the time to engage with you first, they’ll appreciate you even more. When someone emails you, be sure to email them back. When someone drops a comment on your post or wall, make sure to respond. When you do this, it shows the audience member that you indeed care.

Doing these three things will build influence with your audience. In all three, you’re showing a certain levels of being nice and courteous. You’re providing value because they feel valued.

What’s the Point of Giving Away Value?

Well, if it’s not too obvious, the more value you give to your audience, the more they’ll come back. In LTD, we called it tying heartstrings. The more you do something for someone else, the more loops of string you’re throwing around their heart. If you have enough heartstrings tied around their heart, they’ll never be able to leave. If they did, they’d essentially be leaving a small portion of themselves behind. Also, the more heartstrings that you tie, the more they’ll want to engage even more with you, and promote you to others. This, in turn, drives up your traffic.

There are five ways this can happen:

  • They’ll share something you posted on social media.
  • They can subscribe to your email list. Whenever you deliver an update, there’s the potential that they’ll come back. Or heck, they might even share that newsletter with someone else.
  • They can comment on your post. This promotes conversation. If you’ve ever been over at Reddit, you might have realized that sometimes the comments and the discussion it leads to is much more interesting than the post itself.
  • They can email you directly. If they need help, again, you’d give it to them. This increases your trust level and helps them remember YOUR website. He or she will then be more likely to refer to your website to somebody else. If you’re just having a conversation about whatever, who knows – that person may have a blog with thousands of readers. Develop a rapport with this person and you may have found someone who may….
  • They’ll make a link back to your site from their site. (This is called back linking and Google LOVES backlinking.)

Ok, So I’ve Tied Some Heartstrings. Now What?

Well, I’m sure what you might like me to say is that you can sit back and watch your numbers go up, but things aren’t that simple. You’ll need to keep stirring the pot. Gotta keep that momentum going.

What it is time for, however, is for you to put up that first product of yours (if you haven’t already). Studies show that someone is more likely going to buy from a particular source the more times they’ve had in contact with that particular seller.

What’s it going to be? The easy way would be to just come up with something that they might like. The better idea would be to listen to those who you’ve brought in and ask them what they want – then make it. Like me, at the time of this writing, you might have silent traffic (hi guys!) and might have to rely on interviewing 5 to 10 people who you think would actually be candidates for what you have to offer.

Then once, you feel you have enough overlap of their responses, make it, and then deliver them back to them. (For bonus points, you might be so good at getting into those people’s needs that they might just be your first customers and prepay before it’s made!)

Action Steps:

So this week’s action steps are for you to think about this process. Are you connecting with your audience? Are they connecting with you? What kind of problems are you running into there?

If you are connecting and thinking about that first or next product, how’s your research going? Are you having any major setbacks as far as creating some actual buyers? Let us know below!

How To Make or Break a Long Term Relationship

When I wrote about Jim Vaughan’s String Story last week, my intention was to share with you that many times you have to bring in the great by building on the good. There will be times in life you’ll have the opportunity to settle for what is good, but as you might have heard, Great’s number one adversary is not Bad but Good. As in, “that’s good enough”.

One thing that I touched on that I said that I would talk about in the future was a subject I’ve coined “romantic debt”.

Romantic Debt

Today, many people think that Hollywood’s perspective on love and the whole “love at first sight” thought mentality is the way that “love” is supposed to work. They think that they can fall in love with someone right away. This is why there is a phrase called “friend zoning”. You’re either a friend or you’re a romantic interest – especially with young women.

But many times, I see these types of relationships come falling apart in flames. Why? Because the couple hadn’t repaid their romantic debt. Romantic debt is the friendship you have to develop when you’re developing a romantic relationship. The time that you have to put in with the other person to find out who they are and why you would even want to be with them for life. It’s not an easy decision by any means. Especially not one that you can make with the first couple of meetings.

I’m not saying that you can’t fall in “love” with someone right away – but what I will say is that normally that type of love is actually lust. Someone that feels this love for someone else is infatuated with that other person; they can’t get them out of their mind. This is the definition of lust. Unfortunately, this lust or “immediate chemistry” is what most people consider to be true love.

True Love: Filling the Love Tank

I once read a book called The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate"" “>The Five Love Languages. In that book, I learned that true love is not only a form of friendship, but it’s also an emotional investment that can take on the form of 5 different types. An investment that both sides will have to put into the relationship for it to work. The problem with confusing true love with lust is that lust eventually ends. If all the relationship has is this type of love and no emotional investment, then it is doomed. Without having putting any investment in the relationship, then there’s no true love fuel for the fire. The Love Tank has emptied and the fire has been blown out due to the winds of life. This is why so many modern marriages end in divorce. In fact, I’d be willing to bet that this is why Kim Kardashian’s marriage was only 72 days long. They really hadn’t formed a real friendship nor put in any emotional investment into one another.

In the comment section, please share your thoughts. This is a very important subject that I know is on a lot of people’s minds and one that I don’t have much experience on myself, so please share what you think because we’re all here to help each other!

Thanks, and I look forward to reading your responses!

Eliminating the Good Guy Contract – Enabling You to be Your Better Self!

New Inceptions’ goal has always been to discuss some of the “taboo” topics that are not covered in places of formal education. Those taboo topics are generally seen as developing the overall intelligence/common sense of a person – not just their book smarts. As you might have seen, I tend to write more about goals, success, and wealth development. Why? Because that’s what I’m interested in. When I pick up a magazine and flip through it, I usually read articles that deal with how a person or group of people overcame something, are fixing problems, or how a journey was started and where those people are today. Be that anywhere from a science magazine to a recent edition of Sports Illustrated, or Inc. Magazine.

However, ever since I started NI, I wanted to do more than talk about these topics alone. While they are important to me, I also wanted to bring in more information on building meaningful relationships, and specifically romantic relations. For many in the intended audience of 20/30 somethings, love can be a confusing thing – especially in the 20’s. While I don’t claim to be an expert in this field, (and I’m still searching for people with better credentials to write on these topics who would like to write for NI) there are some things that I have learned and I fully plan on sharing them. After all, NI is all about the pursuit of happiness- and developing love and relationships in general is a vital part to that happiness.

So here we go.

I recently read an article over at a blog called “Happiness in this World” where the author was talking about Eliminating the “Good Guy Contract”. Now for those of you who aren’t familiar with “The Good Guy”, let’s just say that this type of person is generally the type that goes out of his or her way to befriend people, just because they want to be liked. Many times they don’t care who they’re friending, just so they have someone that “appreciates” them. Now, I completely understand why someone could be like that. For the most part, society forces many of us to think that we need to be approved by people in life to be socially viable. The more people that like us, the better off we are… right?

Wrong. So so so wrong. The problem with this view is that those who are typically considered a “Good Guy” have a low self image. They care so much about what other people think about them that they don’t know what they want for themselves. Therefore they never make a values list and many times they end up negatively affecting one group of people that they want to be a part of while being nice to another group.

Good Guys (also known as “Nice Guys” in Romance and Pickup Artist (PUA) circles) are wishy washy to say the least. Think of it for a second – how many politicians do you know that flop from one side of an issue to another side just based on who they’re talking to? How many people in general do you know like that? These people are people pleasers (just as the article said) and probably a Good Guy!

To be successful with relationships and to be an effective leader, people need to know where you stand. You need to make standards for yourself and for others. Otherwise, in the end, you’re going to lose. If you feel that you’re being tugged from one feeling to another just because you’re trying to please everyone, maybe you’re guilty of being a “Good Guy”.

“If you’re a chronic People Pleaser who can’t stand to disappoint others when disappointing them is appropriate, then you have a great opportunity to become happier.” To become less of a good guy, practice disappointing people when it’s needed. Draw that line in the sand. But don’t do it so much that you are seen as a bad person. If you can balance it appropriately and let your feelings and boundaries be known before the fact, then ultimately you will be respected.

So what do you think? What are your experiences with “Good Guys”? If you’ve been a Good Guy in the past, how did you overcome it?