stages of manhood

Stages of Manhood: Are you Unfinished?

I am soaking in so much right now in so many different ways and from so many different sources. It’s crazy and I feel like I’m drowning. However, it’s all for a good cause and I’m looking forward to the result.

Recently, Greg Francis, my upline Diamond, did a talk called “Stages of Manhood”. I have been hearing so much about this talk that I had to listen to it. I hadn’t realized that it was by Greg, but when I found out – I knew it was going to be good. And as usual, he hit a nerve with me.

There’s an author that Greg exposed to me a few years back that really helped me out. The author’s name is John Eldredge – he had written a book that many guys in LTD swear by called Wild At Heart. This book is a great for guys who are looking for help in their life because it explains the three things that a man is after in his life. If you’re a male, and you feel like you have a void in your life that you can’t figure out, then you might want to check out this book.

But here’s a teaser: Half of today’s marriages end in divorce. Why that is is another story. However, many times, that couple has children. Those kids, specifically boys, end up suffering due to that separation. On the surface, it’s hard to see what’s going on. But, boys who don’t have a stable man in their childhood years, often end up living life with a void. Why? Because depriving young boys of a father figure deprives that boy of the knowledge it takes to be a man. And as I can attest and as I’m sure many males of my generation can vouch for as well, there’s just so many guys who just don’t understand why they’re not happy in life. Wild at Heart helps them understand why they’re not happy.

In his talk, Stages of Manhood, Greg talks about levels in life that are mentioned in the book The Way of the Wild Heart. Personally, I think this is a great followup book. In it, John talks about 6 levels of Masculinity. Without completing each level, the male isn’t a complete man – he’s an “unfinished man”.


The Stages of Manhood

Here’s a short description of each of the stages a man has to go through to be finished.

1. Boyhood

In this stage, a male is figuring out how the world works. He’s bumping around and getting high fives by his mentors/father figures. He has all the support that he wants and needs.


2. The Cowboy

In this stage, the unfinished man is looking for his own way in life. He’s still bumping into things, but this is the first time that he gets the opportunity to do things on his own. Many times, a male is going through a lot of first time activities such as getting his drivers license.


3. The Warrior

This is the stage for the man in where he wants to get things done. This is where a male really starts becoming a man. At this point, he’s starting to earn his own and he’s deciding to do things that have meaning. Many times it doesn’t matter what it takes to get things done – he just knows that’s what his life is meant for and he’s not going to take no for an answer.


4. The Lover

Many times this level might overlap with the warrior stage. At this point, the man is realizing the small things in life and what he can bring to others. He’s no longer looking for a girl because he feels incomplete or that he thinks of her as a challenge. He’s looking for her because he wants to add value to her life.


5. The King

This is the point where the man is earning the fruits of his labor. He can teach other men how to be Warriors and can help them learn how to attract others that they want to attract.


6. The Sage

Just as the King can build Warriors, the Sage builds Kings.

These stages aren’t ones that guys take in order. Sometimes, a male can be thrusted into a stage they’re not ready for. When that happens, it’s almost impossible for them to do well in that spot as they haven’t earned it. This happens a lot when young males are made the head of the household when their father drops the ball. I know that’s what happened in my situation and I’m proud to say that going through Warrior stage is actually quite rewarding in itself. I thought school was my Warrior years. Nope – I’m starting to go through them now.


So there you have it. I’m curious as to your thoughts of why we have so many lost men today. Is it because they haven’t gone through a stage of manhood? Do you know any guys who this might benefit from this knowledge? Feel free to pass it along!!

Leave a Reply

8 replies
  1. Kim
    Kim says:

    Having been a woman who also had to be keenly in touch with my masculinity as a sole parent…One thing I could not assist my sons with, was how to interact in the world of men. There are stages of this, and I believe men pick on all people who dont have a strong Male figure behind them. Men are horrible to each other, seemingly seeking to “overcome”, their femininity. So, there is a task in each developmental stage, for men to develop the protection of their Male persona. Quite primal, and necessary.

    • Phase3
      Phase3 says:

      Hi Kim, I subscribe to the belief that a real man can only be born of a real mother. one who understands the pains of life and feels the absence of man; for in that absence comes knowledge of what is missed and a fond heart. My journey has revealed to me many things, and I struggled with many of the things in this article and in your comment. My mother & Grandmother raised me while my father began his new life abroad. My whole life I gained the insight of men of which have mentored me in ways they didn’t intend to. I was an observant and curious child who grew up too early. I thank the creator for helping me keep my inner child. There is a balance to all things in life, this is something that the masses has yet to truly comprehend. I am currently in the stage of my life of the Warrior & transitioning into the Lover & King. In 2022 I came across a drop of knowledge that satisfied an unknown curiosity. I was raised by women and surrounded by them but I never understood them, something most men have said in their lifetime. I was always so curious to understand women but I didn’t know where to start. What I discovered was the 3 stages of womanhood The Maiden, The Mother, The Crone. Before discovering this article I wandered what the flip side of that is, I came to determine it is The Bachelor, The Father, & The Sage. These stages are crucial to understanding one another. A truly dedicated single mother or dual mother household must surround their children with these 6 archetypes [12 if you define the transitions between both human development stages]; they must also foster the love of knowledge in their children which means tap into their curiosity. The entire world around me has always tried to douse my flame of curiosity, but my spirit was enough to endure their many attempts. The secret to life is we must understand each other just as we understand ourself eventually we will get to that faithful day when we all love our neighbor, and it will take time; until then…Godspeed…

  2. Mike
    Mike says:

    Hi JC, I just recently heard about the “Stages of Manhood” talk you referenced and I’m trying to track down a CD or audio file of it. Would you happen to have one or know where I could get that?

    • JC
      JC says:

      Hey Mike! Are you looking specifically for Greg’s talk? If so, I’m not sure that I have it. At this point it’s been 8 years since I wrote this post! I don’t even know if he had that talk recorded. If I find something, I’ll email you a link.


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