When was the last time you cared about what you looked like? If you’re like most people, probably this morning before you headed off to the office. The image that you give of yourself is highly important. It’s all about first impressions, right?
So you know you should be aware of how you’re making a first impression in the real world. But what does the internet say about you? Have you done a search on yourself recently to see what comes up? If you have, and you didn’t like the results, how can you change that?
That’s where our guest, Ryan Rhoten, comes into play. Not so long ago, Ryan didn’t think about his online persona either. In fact, it wasn’t until he didn’t get a promotion that he wondered what what was going on. Soon, though, he realized that he didn’t look so good on the web. In fact, there were other Ryan Rhotens on the web… one of which that wasn’t too flattering.
Today, he helps others figure out what their stance is on the web. He does that by helping them hone their personal brand. Yeah, that same personal brand that many celebrities and business owners have to be aware of.
If you’ve recently been denied an interview or promotion that you thought was a sure thing, then you should listen to what Ryan has to say. Even if you’re a business owner and you’re not exactly sure you know everything about personal branding, you should definitely check this talk out too. It just might mean the difference between you getting that next job or client.
IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL LEARN:
How Ryan got started as an online Personal Branding Expert.
Why he doesn’t consider himself a “entrepreneur” quite yet.
Why it’s important that you go to events when building your brand.
What’s an expert exactly and how you can find out what you’re an expert in.
What are common practices of recruiters of using social media to find talent for an open position.
Why Gen Xers naturally struggle when it comes to their online presence.
Some common mistakes people make when developing their personal brand.
Why it’s important to do things out of your comfort zone on a regular basis.
Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!
If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.
Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremelyhelpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.
If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.
And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes, Stitcher, and/or Podbean. It’s absolutely free to do so.
A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!
Cheers!
https://www.newinceptions.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/AoL-Session7.jpg960960JChttp://www.newinceptions.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/NI-Web-Logo8.20165.pngJC2015-10-29 11:36:142019-01-23 16:53:56AoL 007: Personal Branding: Not Just for Business Owners with Ryan Rhoten
“Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford
“Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you first see inside of you.” – Wally Amos
A Few Definitions:
(I’ll meet you on the other side of them.)
Law of Attraction:
States that you attract what you focus your attention on – whether positive or negative. Think of ways that the law of attraction affects your life right now. Do you regularly think of how you fail with the opposite sex? This will result in you continuing to fail.
The same is true of wealth, happiness, success in your career and anything else you focus on.
Your mind has the power to manifest that which you strongly believe. When you focus on something strongly enough, you make it a reality, so our goal is to harness that power to create a better life.
Law of Scarcity:
An economic system cannot produce all goods and services that consumers want, and most consumers do not have the resources to purchase everything they want. Furthermore, choices must be made about how limited resources (time, money, etc.) are used.
Law of Abundance:
A sub-law of the Law of Attraction. It states that there is enough wealth in the world for everyone to have enough money and resources to live fulfilling lives.
First Thing’s First
I want you to know that this particular post might be confusing. In fact, I’m writing the thing and I still find it confusing. However, if there’s anything I want you to get from this post it’s this:
“The Creator did not intend for us to be scrubs, and certainly that is not the example that he sets for us.. The essence of the Law of Abundance is that we must believe in abundance.” – Sterling W. Sill
When the Founding Fathers made the Declaration of Independence, they wrote Man had certain Rights. Specifically they wrote, “they areendowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
Now let me pose a question to you.
Since many of us believe that Natural Laws are how the Creator governs, wouldn’t it make since that what goes for Nature should be good for Man?
I’m not saying that we should go total caveman and not have laws that Man makes up as we go. Instead, I’m simply saying that Nature’s laws are the foundation of how the world works and Man’s laws fill in the gaps from there. We can’t change how Nature works – so why try?
Imperfect Laws of Man
If Nature is so abundant (which it is, take anything that produces fruit for example), why is it that we limit ourselves to a world of scarcity? I believe it’s because we choose not to live by Nature’s laws but instead, by Man made laws. (In fact, we’ve been moving farther and farther away from Natural Laws.)
The problem with doing that is because Man, as we know, is imperfect. And because he’s imperfect, he’s going to make imperfect laws. Most laws that we create will ultimately cause some other problem that we’ll have to create another law for OR we’ll have to get rid of the previous law all together (Prohibition anyone?).
Take the tax code for example. It could have started off simple but as years go by, it has gotten larger and larger. Why? Because tax, in itself, isn’t natural. So we’ve had to fill in ever smaller and smaller gaps.
Another man made law that’s obviously imperfect and that we’re all familiar with is segregation. Whoever thought that separating people because of their skin color was a good idea was just straight out wrong.
Scarcity is one of these laws as well. Does Supply and Demand makes sense? On the surface it might. I mean, as supply goes down, demand goes up. Wait a second. Was it that when demand goes up that supply goes down? That doesn’t seem right either.
Hmmm… well let’s take a look at an example we’re familiar with: gas prices.
A few years ago, gas was hovering at nearly $4 a gallon here in the States. This was because OPEC wanted as much money as they could get. Demand stayed the same, supply fell, thus the price rose. Ok. Makes sense for them to cut the supply from their perspective. However, now at $2.25 a gallon, we’re seeing OPEC produce like there’s no tomorrow. Why is that? Many sources say it’s because no one can agree on a universal price point. Others might say that they want to cripple other countries around the world including Russia, China, Canada, and the US.
Either way, it’s human intervention. Just by definition, it’s imperfect if not downright confusing!
(Actually, I might go out on a limb and say that Scarcity isn’t a law in itself, it’s actually a lack of law or lack of understanding in how the Law of Abundance works.)
Applying the Law of Abundance (or Attraction)
Now that we’ve looked at why Natural Laws are the laws that we should have high interest in following and why Man made laws are just plain ridiculous at times, let’s look at how we can actually APPLY the Law of Attraction in our lives.
For one, I’m not about to tell you that you simply need to focus on what you want in your life. If only it were that simple. I mean, I love Napoleon Hill, but dude, c’mon. Just thinking about something all day is called day dreaming. Besides the focus, you have to act.
So what kind of actions am I talking about?
First, you need to create a Vision Board (or have a REALLY good idea of what you’re looking for). Not sure how to make one? Next, you need to create a plan to get there. After that, you have to do that work. (If you’re just doing work to do work, then you better be following someone else’s plan or you might find yourself going in circles.)
Scenario 1 – The New Graduate: Let’s say you want to start simple at getting a good job out of school. What is it going to take to get you there? Four things: Good grades in college, a good resume and cover letter, and… NETWORKING! You’ve probably heard of all of these at some point and yes you have to do them all, but the one you really need to create a plan for is networking. If you’re desired job is to work for say… Facebook, how are you going to get there? It’s just not going to happen. Who do you need to talk to? Get that Vision Board going (start with a big ol’ picture of Facebook HQ) and then start working back to where you are now. This is going to involve research in who you should talk to and what job fairs you need to go to, but it’s totally doable.
Scenario 2 – Career Transition: Alright, you’ve had your first job and you want to make a larger impact. What next? Wait to be promoted? Leave the company? Start your own business? Join another startup first? There’s different ways you could go here. Let’s say we want to start our own business but we don’t know if we can handle it. Great, let’s join another startup for a couple of years and get some experience. (Hey, it’s what I did!)
Preferably, you shouldn’t join a company that does what you want to do. Otherwise, you might burn some bridges when you leave (if that’s your plan). But just like the first time, let’s get that job with a plan. Another thing you might consider here is if you want to be a full time employee or work as a 1099 contractor. As a full time employee you’ll have benefits, but you’ll have less options to do outside work. As a contractor, you’ll be in charge of ALL your taxes, but you’ll be able to write off expenses. There’s pros and cons in both.
Scenario 3 – Start Your Own Business: Time to start your own business! Some things to consider here: what kind of business is it going to be? How much would you like to be making? Are you looking at a deep foundation (like I am with New Inceptions)? Are there any similar businesses out there that you can model after?
These are all things you’ll need to think about. If there are similar businesses out there, see if you can’t do some research in how they got from point A to point B. If it’s an online business, use the Way Back Machine to see if you can get some clues in how they started. If you’re doing something new or just want a community to help you, you might want to consider joining Fizzle to help you out. If you’re planning on going old school brick and mortar, do some market research first. Is there an interest in your area of what you’re doing? Would it be best if you started elsewhere? Maybe start online first and then go brick and mortar? Lots of choices.
Either plan you go, you need to put in the work. And we’re here for you anytime you need help in figuring out the next step.
Homework:
So which scenario above best describes you? If you don’t think any of them do, let us hear what your particular situation is. Also, feel free to let us know how you’ve used the Law of Abundance (or Attraction) to get ahead in the past or how you’re currently using it!
https://www.newinceptions.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Henry-Ford-for-Law-of-Abundance2.jpg800800JChttp://www.newinceptions.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/NI-Web-Logo8.20165.pngJC2015-10-13 14:10:242015-10-13 14:10:54Breaking out of the Scarcity Mindset By Applying the Law of Abundance
Inspired by Cam’s video above, I thought I’d share with you all the podcasts that yours truly listens to as well. I mean, one of the things that we want to do in the newly created New Inceptions Masterminder group on Facebook is feature other people’s work. Not only does it build community when you promote others, but it also helps people find things they might not have known about in the past.
One of the things that LTD talked about all the time and that you might have heard is the phrase Leaders are Readers.
And I think that phrase has it’s merit. I believe to be a leader that you constantly have to be learning. When you’re learning, you’re moving forward. Likewise, if you’re not learning, you’re moving backwards.
However I believe that in today’s age many people don’t read as much as they used to. For example, while Facebook is full of text, it’s the videos that tend to go viral – not posts. For me, I’m naturally an audio person. I feel that videos and books must have your full attention to leave an impression. However, with audio (radio, podcasts, books on tape) I feel that you can be doing something (driving, walking, working out) and still be somewhat engaged in the material that you’re listening to.
So audio, I believe, is the one medium that every expert or online business person should be utilizing to build their audience. I’d imagine that podcasters would agree with this.
If you’ve never listened to a podcast, it’s never too late to start. Podcasts are generally free and can range in all kinds of topics, as Cam mentioned in the video above. I’ve been aware of them since I first had an iPod (2007’ish) but I believe they’ve been around longer than that. The reason you might not have heard too much about them is because they’ve been in somewhat of a rollercoaster of popularity over the years, but I think this current swing is a fairly large one.
So to help you get started (or maybe to just give you some more options), I’m going to share with you 10 podcasts that I’m currently listening to on a regular basis. And then, I’m going to give you my top 5 that I recommend that you should definitely add to your list whether or not you currently listen to them or are a newbie listener.
I will point out that I don’t expect you to listen to all of these all the time. Unless you commute daily and consider your car to be a mobile university, my recommendation would to pick topics that interest you.
The Top 10 Podcasts I’m Currently Listening To:
Smart Passive Income (Average Run Time [ART]: 45 minutes) – This is the first podcast that I ever started listening to. Over the years, Pat has done remarkably well with it. While I don’t visit his blog as much as I once did and don’t find myself regularly checking out his other material (which includes 2 more podcasts, a regular programmed YouTube channel, and “playing” around on Periscope), I do keep coming back to the original podcast. I think the main reason is his wide scope of guests that he has on the show. While he does manage to get big names on there from time to time (Gary Vee and Tim Ferris to name a couple), I think his real bread and butter is highlighting normal people who have successfully built an online business.
Solopreneur Hour (ART: 1 hour+) – Michael and his show recently came on the radar a couple of months ago when he was interview by Pat. I completely love his style of talking with people very casually. Just in the little bit of time that I’ve been listening, there have been HUGE bombs of wisdom dropped that I’ve used in either mindset or just getting things done. His background is definitely interesting in that he’s had big swings in his success. He’s killed it recently in the MLM world, but before that he moved from one place to another, struggling as he went. Oh and he loves his dog.
Joel Osteen Podcast (ART: 25 minutes)- This particular “podcast” helped me quite a bit when I lost my mom back in 2011. I was going through a transitional time in my life and having her pass just added to all the emotions of leaving college and entering “the real world”. While Joel might not be everyone’s cup of tea, I do think that certain people that are on hard times can be picked up by his inspirational message. Generally Maria and I will listen to this one together. (Also, there’s a video version of it as well as it’s simply the recording of his weekly televised show.)
The Charged Life (ART: 12 minutes) – Not as spiritual as Joel’s podcast, Brendon’s podcast is a quick message that he delivers about certain topics related to getting his listeners out of what he calls the “Caged” and “Comfortable” life. Like Joel’s podcast, there’s a video version of this one too which you can find on YouTube.
The Way I Heard It (ART: 5 – 7 minutes) – As being a fan of Mike Rowe since he started Dirty Jobs, I feel like I’m kind of in the same boat as him. Especially when it comes to how he is amazed by interesting people who do interesting things. This particular podcast was talked about during his interview with Tim Ferriss, and I thought I’d give it a go. Really glad I did! If you liked Paul Harvey’s The Rest of the Story, then you’ll love this – which is done in the same fashion.
Unmistakable Creative (ART: 55 minutes) – This show originally started out as the Blogcastfm.com show which was geared pretty much towards to what Pat talks about. In fact, Pat had Srinivas, the host, on his show back in 2013. However, around the time that Srini was on Glenn Beck’s show, was when the podcast was changed to it’s current form. At any rate, I’m still a fan of Srini’s and love the guests that he has on here.
The Fizzle Show (ART: 1 hour) – Another podcast and group I heard about from Pat’s podcast. While I love Pat, having three hosts on a podcast sounded very unique to me. While this format works well on the radio, not many people have used it for pure podcasting – at least not with the ones I’m familiar with. It’s because of this show that we decided to go with format that we did for the Angles of Lattitude Podcast. (Also, remember, that you can get your first month of being a Fizzler for free by going through this link here.)
Art of Charm (ART: 15 minutes to 1 hour) – Jordan Harbinger and his pals started the Art of Charm as a coaching service to guys who wanted to be better men. For a long time, that was the focus of the show. However, as soon as I started listening to the show regularly in 2012-2013, they started changing the focus a little more on just finding out how interesting guests became their current successful self. I will say that if you’re anyone who needs to work on your self image or confidence, that this might be a show worth your time to listen to. Guests on the show include upper tier successes.
StarTalk Radio (ART: 50 minutes) – I think this was the 2nd podcast I started listening to. It’s funny, but Neil deGrasse Tyson is one of my favorite popular scientists in today’s pop culture. He was the 1st host of the recent Cosmos (there might be future seasons from what I hear) and he’s also known for his phrase “We have a badass over here”. So it seems fitting that he hosts a show (typically with a comedian co-host) where they talk with guests about pop culture and science.
The School of Greatness (ART: 5 minutes to 1 hour+) – Like many other podcasts that release multiple times a week, the School of Greatness by Lewis Howes has long shows and a short show on Friday. Personally, I picked his podcast up in 2013 when I heard that he had started it. Being familiar with him by him being Pat’s podcast (where else?) and talking about webinars and LinkedIn, I thought he might be interesting to listen to as well. Fast forward a couple of years and I think he’s more known for doing the show now than he was with those previous topics. Types of guests that he has on the show typically are pretty successful, but a lot of the time he tends to mix in some pretty good topic editions (those are normally his short ones).
My Recommended Top 5 Podcasts for the Podcast Newbie
If you’re just getting into podcasts, I wouldn’t recommend subscribing on iTunes to all of these just yet. Honestly, there’s a crap load of information coming from these folks and I don’t want you to get hammered with too much all at once. If you’re finding my list, there’s a good chance you have an interest in improving your career. So, what I’ll do for you is give you the ones I think would help you out the most in that quest. Then later on, you can come back and subscribe to the other ones I listen to for edutainment.
These are in order of how relevant they are based on where you might be in your career. The first three are for anyone while the latter two are geared more towards people who want to be experts in their field.
Art of Charm – Basically just teaches people how to crush it all around – in their jobs, in their relationships, and in life. Jordan is very engaged with his guests which is interesting. You can tell he does his homework. He comes across as a fan of everyone he talks to.
School of Greatness – Like the Art of Charm, however, Lewis lets the guest talk way more which definitely makes it a different show.
The Charged Life – I think more people need to be aware of Brendon and what he offers. Ideally, at New Inceptions, we’re trying to help you move from a Caged or Comfortable life to a Charged Life as well.
Smart Passive Income – I think it’s important that people know that there’s a way that you can make an income on the side using the skills that you already use day in and day out. While Brendon does that for a premium (he can, too – he shows you EVERYTHING you need to do to be a success in expert space) Pat shows you how to do it all for free. He’s also exposed so much of the world to me in general, that I couldn’t not post his show.
Solopreneur Hour – I like his technique. It’s hard to say how much he actually researches his guests, but I think that adds to his style. He and Pat say that they don’t research their guests too much because they want to sound more authentic when finding things out. However, he does seem to know a lot about most of them. I like the conversation effect that this gives his show.
Homework:
I’d love for you to check these out and let us know what you think. If you’re a podcast newbie, take a listen to my recommended top 5 and let us know which one sounds the most interesting to you. What did you like about them? What didn’t you like about them? If you were to make a podcast, what would you focus on? If you’re already a host, please let us know about your podcast below. Be sure to tell us why you started it and what your focus is. Let yourself be heard!
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“Happiness doesn’t result from what we get, but from what we give.” – Dr. Ben Carson
“People don’t know how much you know until you show how much you care.” – Dr. John C. Maxwell
Two of my favorite quotes. You know that people will listen if you share knowledge that helps them. Want to go a little further and get some influence? Add some value to their lives. In today’s post, we’ll be talking about how you can be more influential with people by bringing them value.
So what did you learn from that? Hopefully you got the impression that giving value is important in sales. You say you’re not in sales? O contraire! You definitely are!
Did you know that every day people are selling themselves? Whether it’s a salesperson doing a direct sale or an engineer with a proposal for a project, or a mother trying to get her kid to eat vegetables, everyone is selling. Everyone is thinking about how they’re going to influence their audience (the customer, the client, or kid) to buy their product or services, or eat carrots.
One of the largest difference makers in making that sale is whether or not that person has influence on their audience.
As Jeffrey said, he tries to give value first… and that’s what gets you influence.
Which is much different than what a lot of people do today. Instead of looking for the win-win, they’re looking for the “how can I use this person”? The person who is looking for the win-win is looking how to give value. The second type is taking value. The first one is the influencer while the second one, I think, is the persuader… the manipulator.
Giving Value in our Daily Lives
Before we talk about giving value in our professional life, let’s just make sure we get a better idea of what giving value means for sure. Something simple. Nothing drastic.
If you were to give value in something that you’re already doing right now, how would you do that? You might be thinking that you’d have to start thinking and acting differently than you currently do. But would you really? I’m sure there’s things in your life that you’re already doing for others that give them value. For instance, while I’m the guy of the household, and traditionally men supposedly don’t cook, I know that I can bring value by being the person who cooks dinner on a regular basis.
Think about something you might be good at that you could use to benefit those around you. Believe me, it’ll help later.
Giving Value In our Careers
In the professional space, you might think that people are looking to get ahead of each other by beating each other down. By stealing ideas and contacts. It’s total competition out there – even in the same company. People are trying to beat each other for that next position. So you have to take what you can get! When the boss asks you a question, you better respond with a “Yes, sir!” response.
Right?
Wrong.
First off, that’s not a very confident mindset. People will notice that you’re afraid of the workplace if you have that kind of perspective. So let’s try to look at things from another perspective. One of collaboration.
For one, instead of using that quick to respond with definite answers, let’s try to answer questions with questions. Obviously we don’t want to make it obvious. But let’s try to dig deeper for something that will be a better solution instead of something that’s a quick fix. The more you know about a certain subject, the more thorough you can be about about your solution.
A way you can do that, for example, is enter any meeting that you have with 4 questions that you want to get answered:
What are the goals (short and long term)?
Who is the audience?
What is the capabilities of your group and/or department?
How do you measure success?
As you become a person who helps think things out (as opposed to going to the know it all quick fix), people start coming to you for help.
Another way that you can add value to people is being what’s know as The Connector (as Malcolm Gladwell calls them) or the Linchpin (as Seth Godin refers to them).
The idea of this particular person is that they’re a main hub of a certain network of people. They’re the ones who can carry out a conversation with someone from one year to next without ever acting like time has passed. Generally speaking, these people know where they met someone and what they were doing at the time.
If this sounds like you or you want to become one, I recommend reading The Tipping Point and/or Linchpin to find out more.
The third way that you can add value, or even if you’re unsure, is to ask yourself these three questions:
Is what I’m doing or the acts that I’m performing different but also includes ideas that other people from the group have thought about? (You don’t want to come off as being too maverick!)
Is this a great contribution? Is this work something I’ve strived for excellence in? (Don’t half ass your work. Remember the Agreement: Always do Your Best)
Do I really care about what I did? Did I see this in perspective of helping other people? (Again, think about the quote at the beginning of this post.)
Homework:
The next time you want to influence your peers, family, or audience, think about how you’re going to add value to them. What is something only you can provide to the group? A perspective? Experiences? Make sure you’re providing that information not because you want to manipulate but because you want to truly help. You’d be surprised what will happen as time goes on.
https://www.newinceptions.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Ben-Carson-on-Value.png8051023JChttp://www.newinceptions.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/NI-Web-Logo8.20165.pngJC2015-09-01 12:21:402015-12-28 17:03:23How to Be More Influential By Adding Great Value to Others
Weekly planning. It’s something that many of us might not be familiar with. Especially if we’re having to deinstitutionalize ourselves from the academic and/or corporate world. But the thing is that planning is a vital element to be successful in self made career.
So let’s see what Tony has to say on the matter:
“I Don’t Have Enough Time.”
When I was first getting started with LTD, one of the first CDs I ever heard had a Diamond talking about how people have a top few excuses about why they don’t want to start The Business. The number one reason was this phrase.
The CD continued, “There is no bigger killer of dreams than those five words”.
But the truth is, everyone that has ever lived has had the same amount of minutes in a given day and in a given week. Lack of time never stopped Picaso from painting, it never stopped Steve Jobs from creating and building Apple, and it sure hasn’t stopped Tony Robbins from connecting with tens of thousands of people (yearly) from all over the world.
So the question is… how do they do it?
When it comes to time, they have a strategy. Most of us don’t. In fact, I’m still learning to keep an ever more productive calendar and this is why I wanted to share the strategy with you.
The first thing to do is stop telling yourself that busy people are special. They’re not. They simply have found a strategy that works for them. Then they execute, adjust, and execute again.
Most people go into the week with little planning going into what their week looks like. At best, they have a jumbled list of tasks.
I fear, however, that many of us were taught to act this way. From day one in Kindergarten, we’ve been told when it’s time to stop something and then move onto the next task. Those who went to college had even more of this ingrained into our heads.
This is one reason doing something you love is not easy. We’re not used to setting our own schedules.
If you’re wanting to do something on your own, you need to have a strategy, otherwise you’re going to sink back to default which is waiting for someone to tell you to do something.
However, you should realize that the strategy that successful people have is not just for them. You can learn it too.
5 Step Weekly Planning Method
So below you’ll see the overview of the different steps. While we note that many execute, learn, and then execute again, there are 3 other important steps.
1. Commit To Success
2. Be Present
3. Reflect on the Past
4. Plan the Future
5. Fill in the Gaps
So let’s dive in.
1. Commit To Success
It all starts with the Routine
When you’re committing to success, there are two vital parts you need to take note of. First and foremost is the actual point in the week in which you do the planning that we’re going to be laying out here. Personally, I like to do it on Sunday. Sundays have always felt so “Ugh, here comes another week” most of my life that I want to replace that feeling with a “Oh snap. Here’s the stuff I’m looking forward to doing this week!”
However, if Sunday doesn’t look good for you, then perhaps the first thing on Monday might be better?
Either way, you’ll need an hour to do this. (Possibly up to 2 hours if you’re just beginning your journey and aren’t in a groove yet!) Also, make sure you do it before checking emails or any other weekly tasks.
Action Step 1: Write down your planning time and schedule it. That’s the first thing you have to commit to each week. Committing to yourself.
2. Be Present
Building the Framework (Visualizing the Big Picture)
So, as I’ve said plenty of times on NI before, you always want to start with the end in mind, right? When you get there, how will you know? What does success actually look like? Where do you want to be in the next 3 to 10 years? What do you want to be remembered for? Think of these items as your framework for what you’re doing. Without the foundation, whatever you do this week won’t be anchored properly.
In fact, it might help to put this in some sort of visual aide so that you remember quickly it from week to week.
Action Step 2: When meeting with yourself, reconstruct your goals and framework to get there. This first step should be relatively short. 2-5 minutes at most.
3. Reflect on the Past
What Were Your Wins?
First part you can look forward to is celebrating your wins. People rarely take the time to appreciate the things they’ve accomplished before diving into what’s next. Personally, I know I’m horrible with this. Learn how to be proud of things you’ve done. Learn how to give yourself a compliment – a good grade.
Here’s something that was a win for me last week: I was able to edit all of the first AoL podcast using a software I didn’t know much about. Had a awesome Fizzle meeting with Maria and Jon Ridge. Talked about a business opportunity he’s excited about. Also looked into becoming an online tutor. I feel that tutoring and teaching is a great way to connect with people.
Action Step 3a: Take 5 to 10 minutes listing 5 to 10 wins that you had this week.
What Did You Learn?
Sometimes a win isn’t actually a win. Sometimes it’s something your learned. What major things did you learn about? Any quotes you want to share? Or how about things that inspired you? Or possibly found out about people you’d like to connect with? You need to keep track of these things!
Something that I learned this past week: It doesn’t matter how many people are signed up for an event. If it’s free, there’s a good chance they’re not going to come. I had 4 other people besides Jon, Maria, and myself listed for the Fizzle Meetup. None of them showed. Would be interested in finding out why.
Action Step 3b:Take 2-5 minutes going through any notes, shares, and ideas from last week. List all the lessons that come to mind.
What Didn’t Happen?
Finally, here’s the part that many dread in their day to day life. Funny enough, though, it’s actually what most of us have to deal with when it comes to reviews at our careers and even in school. So the reason we hate it so much is because that’s what we’re used to is bad news in our reviews.
However, we should only care about the things that actually mattered. Don’t worry about the small stuff.
The stuff that went south – did it happen for a good reason (maybe other important things happened?), or was it a bad reason (getting sucked into social media debate that lasted on and off all day long?). What could you have done to avoid it? If you see yourself going down that path again, what can you change?
Something that didn’t go my way last week: I wanted to record another one or two more conversations for the podcast. However, due to weird technological issues, I wasn’t able to get either. Looking forward to recording them in the future. Also wanting to go through some of Pat’s newbie stuff so I can remember how bad he was so I don’t feel so terrible myself!
Action Step 3c:For 2-5 minutes come up with a list of things that didn’t go right and what you can do to improve next time. For bonus points, you can start taking responsibility for everything that goes wrong – even a meteor strike.
4. Plan the Future
Determine Outcomes for the Week
We’ve already looked at where we are by thinking about our goals and developing the framework to get there. We also have quickly looked at the past. Now it’s time to look at what’s coming down the pipeline.
A good amount of outcomes to do on a weekly basis is probably 5 to 7 items. If you’re thinking of the Relationship Pillar, maybe you could start that new dating site profile. Or if you’re looking at the Health Pillar, perhaps something like getting a gym membership might be a good goal. You get to decide how big or small they are. Whatever they are, make sure that they’re propelling you to your long term goals. So surfing Reddit all day might not necessarily be a great decision.
A big goal for me this week is to get this post out on time. I’ll be having some connectivity related problems this next week and I just want to make sure that before I don’t have access, that I get it posted.
Action Step 4a:For 5 to 10 minutes, make a list of 5 to 7 outcomes that you want to get done for the week.
Schedule Everything You Want to Get Done – Seriously.
This step is one I struggle with. I have issues with scheduling. However, everything I do takes up time in my day. However, while most of us realize this, we typically don’t try to do anything about. I would guess that if you took all of those 5 to 7 outcomes that you just listed that you’d probably need a lot more time in a day then you actually have.
This is the reason we feel that we never have enough time in a day. While we might just make a list, most of us usually underestimate how much time something is going to take. Since everything takes time, we need to assign actual time to those items that matter the most to us.
Action Step 4b:For the next 5 to 15 minutes, look at your 5 to 7 tasks you just listed in Part a. Spread those out throughout your week while doing only 1-3 per day. Now actually reserve the time on your calendar. The key is assigning real time to each task.
5. Fill in the Gaps
Make Room for your Miscellaneous Items for the Week
So you have your outcomes and then broke them apart into smaller manageable daily lists. Next, you have to fill in other stuff. Have a meeting you need to go to? Put that in. Have a mastermind that you’re a part of? Put that in. Taking classes from Fizzle? Get those in there.
By the end of this process, you shouldn’t have any stray lists or tasks in your head or on stickies around your desk.
Also, while you’re at it, you might want to take a little bit of time to touch base with some people this week.
Ask yourself two questions:
Who can I add value to this week?
Who can help me get done what I have coming up?
Do both of these weekly as I can tell you that you can’t keep all your good ideas in your head. You’ll forget by morning (even if you don’t you’ll definitely forget by the weekend!).
Action Step 5:For the last 5-10 minutes, look at what’s left on your to do list*. Now looking back at your schedule. Think about where you could fit these little tasks and connections in. Schedule all of them!
*A multi platform tool that will help you organize your to-do lists is Trello. You can use Trello on your desktop, laptops, mobiles – whatever.
Bonus Tips
So here’s the deal, even with this strategy, you might have some small questions in getting everything in that you want to get in. So let me see if we can predict those:
Q: Everything keeps taking longer than I expect! What can I do to make better predictions?
A: As Frank Forte would say, “The Analytical in me thinks that if you believe you’ll take an hour to make a blog post, you better schedule it for an hour and a half or two”.
Q: So, I got behind on day one. I had everything planned out just like you said. Now what?
A: Did you have buffer time? If you planned on having a 45-60 minute conversation, did you leave the extra 15 minutes of buffer time? They might have wanted to talk longer.
Q: So, I put in buffer time and I still am not getting everything done I want to. Now what?
A: You’re just going to have to be ok in not getting everything done this week. Nobody’s perfect.
Q: I find that by the time I get to some important tasks in the day, that my energy is giving up to do them. How do I get them done?
A: If you find yourself not having enough energy to get things done (I’m a night owl naturally, I don’t have that problem), you might want to get everything done at the first part of your day. You can even take that another step and do all your important tasks at the beginning of your week.
That’s It. There’s my strategy. Now, what are your hacks?
Think I’ve missed anything? Is there anything you’d add or need cleared up? Let me know in the comments below.
https://www.newinceptions.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/5-Steps-to-Planning-a-Successful-Week-via-Tony-Robbins2.png401534JChttp://www.newinceptions.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/NI-Web-Logo8.20165.pngJC2015-07-20 23:29:592015-12-28 16:27:125 Steps to Successful Weekly Planning via Tony Robbins
Empaths and Narcissists. Two very different types of people. You could say that they’re extremes. On one hand with the empath, you have a person who feels everything that is going on with themselves and the people around them. Perhaps they feel that they’re “out of this world” or misplaced because they see all the emotion. That they have superhuman powers to read people. To sense vibes. Many times, they absorb all these emotions that are around them feeling weighted down by the burdens of the world.
On the other hand, you have the narcissist. One could say that this is the opposite of the empath. They look at others as instruments to get what they want. Many times, these people have become like this because of some sort of pain they received earlier in their life. Furthermore, the narcissist won’t realize that the world doesn’t work this way. That the world is a two way street. They’ll literally do anything to get where they want to get to in life.
In either case, neither will likely be able to create their own happiness. The empath might think that having their own happiness is too selfish. The narcissist, on the other hand, will think that their unhappiness is everyone else’s fault. So why should they put time into it if no one else will?
That said, I think most of us that have struggled or currently struggle with being happy fall somewhere between these two extremes.
Your Happyness is Yours to Build
Just like many things, Happiness is a journey, not so much a destination. The Founding Fathers knew this when they mentioned it in the Declaration of Independence. If you should remember anything about July 4th this weekend, is that in the United States it is the God Given Right to live life, be free, and strive towards our own happiness – whatever that might be. So as we come to this celebration of what the US stands for, I wanted to break down 10 things that we can do to be more happy.
The reason why I recommend the Four Agreements on a regular basis is because I believe it has led me to be happier myself. The agreements are as follows:
Be Impeccable with Your Word
Don’t Take Anything Personal
Don’t Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best
In these four, I’ve come up with a list of 11 key everyday practices that can help you gain more happiness daily.
Be Impeccable with Your Word
Stop Complaining
Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining – it bores everybody else, does you no good, and doesn’t solve any problems. – Zig Ziglar
Chances are you don’t want to be around some that complains all the time. So why would anyone want to be around you if you do? If you must complain, give yourself 5 minutes to do so. Better yet, instead of complaining about something, instead look for a possible solution? No solution? Focus on the positive and perhaps cut a joke.
Focus on the Positive Things in Life
When you focus on problems, you’ll have more problems. When you focus on the possibilities, you’ll have more opportunities. – Unknown
The more you focus on negative things in your life, the more they’ll come in. It will show up in your work, your relations, and everything else. Instead, shift your attention to the positive perspective. In return, more positive things will come.
Blame yourself, not others
The moment you take responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you can change anything in your life. – Hal Elrod
Every one us is where we are in life due to choices we’ve made in the past. Sure, our circumstances are different, but more often then not, many of us take the easier route which in the long run makes us weaker for the hard stuff in life. Take the challenges as they come in life and you’ll be prepared for when crap really hits the fan.
Don’t Take Anything Personal
Stop Caring About What Others Think of You
If you care about what other people think, you will always be their prisoner. – James Frey
Every great leader, artist, entrepreneur, and/or political leader (George Bush is a painter now… wha!?) ignored what people thought of them at one point or another. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be able to take off. Instead, if others are tearing you up, realize it’s more than likely because they’re envious OR threatened by you.
Stop Needing to Be Right All the Time
Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues. – Confucius
Learn to laugh at yourself. It’s ok to stand up for things you really believe in, but not on every subject. In stead of trying to be right, learn how to see other people’s point of view. When I argue politics on Facebook, I typically do after understanding the other side’s perspective. Start asking more questions to see other’s points of view, it might open a whole new perspective for yourself… one that you incorporate your old perspective and theirs into an ultimate right answer! 😉
Don’t Make Assumptions
Stop Judging
Judging a Person Does Not Define Who They Are… It Defines Who You Are – Unknown
Stop judging or worrying about other’s people’s lives. Unless you’re trying to be a narcissist, you need to focus more on what you’re doing right in life. Even if you think it’s not that bad and won’t hurt anyone, stop. It’s hurting you and you just don’t realize it. Focus on your own life and how you’re going to perfect it.
Ask Questions to Clarify
Begin challenging your assumptions. Your assumptions are the windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile or the light won’t come in. – Alan Alda
This is simple. If you’re interested in being successful, learn to make things clear at the beginning. Yes, it’s impossible not to assume 100% of the time, especially if you’re doing something that has been multiple times before, but make sure you’re always asking questions to clear things up before it gets worse.
Always Do Your Best
Be Present
What is presence? It is a grounding and harmony in this very moment; it is a physical alertness, an emotional acceptance, a spiritual awareness and union with what is in front of us in the here and now; it is a vital consciousness to who we are and what we are sensing; it is a mindfulness to what is meaningful; it is the Way – Brendon Burchard
Brendon talks all the time about his life mission being “Did we live? Did I love? Did I matter?”. So often we find ourselves living in the past in how good things used to be. Or we live in the future in how we want things to be. Live in the present. You’ll never get to the future you want if you don’t appreciate where you are now.
Be Fearless
Being Fearless isn’t being 100% not fearful, it’s being terrified but you jump anyway… – Taylor Swift
Fear is a strong motivator in life. Perhaps possibly the strongest to not be great. Perhaps you’re worried about leaving friends behind. Perhaps you’re worried that you might fail in whatever you’re setting out to do. The hard truth is that at the end of the day or even your life, you’re going to wish that you at least tried to do something vs always dreaming “what if”. Don’t waste the gifts that you’ve been given. Go Do Your Thing.
Stop Being So Hard on Yourself
The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. – Steven Furtick
I know I’m my own worst critic. I know that inside of us there’s a fan and there’s the scrooge. For many of us, we’ve been told our entire lives that we can do anything we want to do… just don’t screw up. Furthermore, school taught us, pass without failing.
What we don’t learn until after school is that we don’t learn in life without failing. Failing is part of life. Once you accept this, then you start relying more on the fan to motivate you. The scrooge will always be there saying, “you don’t deserve to be awesome”. However, as you start gaining success, you’ll listen to the fan more and more. While you might not be perfect, you give value to others.
Stop Worrying About the Small Stuff
Worry is a misuse of the imagination. – Dan Zadra
We worry about everything and anything. Part of limiting what influence the scrooge has is to realize that others aren’t perfect either. Just because someone isn’t replying to your emails, texts, or phone calls doesn’t mean they suddenly don’t like you.
Learn to focus on what you can do in the current moment and not worry so much on what the outcome is going to be.
Your Turn
So below in the comments, let me know what you do to feel happier on a day to day basis. Are there any tricks or tips that you do when you feel yourself getting down? Chime in and share!
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Pursuit of Happiness – it’s in the Declaration of Independence, but do we really know what it means? Is happiness something that we can truly achieve? If so, how?
I think it is. It’s in the eye of seeker. No one can define happiness but you. However, they can definitely help you along your journey
That’s what the story of Chris Gardner, the author of The Pursuit of Happyness, has done for millions of people. Personally, I had seen Will Smith’s rendition a few years before I ever had heard that it was actually based on the life story of Chris. But if you think you ever have it bad, I got to say it probably pales in comparison. I mean, he really did. At the time that he was going through so much grief in his life, he really didn’t have anyone to turn to. I mean for crying out loud, he and his son had to sleep in a subway restroom.
But, if you saw the movie, you’d know that eventually he made his goals/dreams come true. Not only did he make them come true, but he far exceeded them.
So what was the lesson from his story? Well, for one… I think the main lesson was to never give up or give in. But I also think there’s more that we can pull from this story. We can see that Chris also progressed in developing his 5 Pillars of Happiness: Relationships, Health, Purpose, Finance, and the Little Things. These 5 pillars is what makes up New Inceptions’ foundation.
The 5 Pillars of Happiness:
1.) Mental (Relationships being a part of this) – In Chris’ story, we find Chris living with his ex-wife who gives him plenty of crap about where they are in life and what he’s doing with himself. It’s not that she’s really interested in him developing into what he wants to be, but what she can get out of her relationship with him. She needs him to do things that at the time he is incapable of doing. They are struggling, but she is definitely not helping the matter any. However, in the end of the story (at least the movie), Chris has built one heck of a relationship with his son.
In the Relationship Pillar of Happyness, as with all the other pillars, there is a scale. If a person is too heavy on one side of this scale vs the other, their life will be more difficult. As with everything in life, it’s all about proper moderation – these scales need to be properly balanced. In this particular scale one would say that there is side where a person is all about themselves. On the other side of this scale, they are all about other people at the expense of themselves. Neither extreme is good for building healthy relationships. If you’re too into yourself, no one will be able to trust you. If you’re too much into aiding others, then you’ll eventually be taken advantage of by them and made to do what they want you to. You need to know what you want out of relationships or it won’t be meaningful for any of the people involved.
To balance this scale out, it helps to understand why you keep the company you do and how to recognize those that are good for you. It also helps to know how to win the trust and friendships of those that you want in your life.
2.) Health– In Pursuit of Happyness, at least the movie, we never really deal with Chris’ health too much. However we would be mistaken to think that he was doing fantastic in this pillar. Little money = little food. Little food = malnutrition. Malnutrition, especially between a child and an adult, doesn’t usually equate to good things. The way to balance this pillar here is pretty obvious based on the focus of health in today’s society. To properly handle this pillar, one must balance out a fair amount of activity with proper nutrition. It’s all about proper maintenance and meeting the needs of your body. You can’t beat natural design.
3.) Spiritual (Purpose and Mission being a part of this) – In Chris’ story, he wants to leave the medical sales world behind and become a somebody on Wall Street. The movie is basically about his dedication in making this a reality. Obviously his dream to do this is to provide more for himself and his family which, at the beginning of the story, he’s not doing such a great job of. However, we shouldn’t get the pursuit of a “career” confused with the purpose of a person. A person’s career is just part of their purpose. Everything that a person chooses to constructively do with their time is part of their purpose. Everything that a person chooses to do that is not constructive use of their talents, is nothing more than a distraction of who they are.
However, too much of either side can’t be 100% good for you. Someone being completely constructive all the time in life might find it hard to have fun. Someone that lives 100% for fun, can not be happy because they aren’t fulfilling who they really are. In either extreme, a void is created and the person tries to fill that void with more of the same action. That’s how we get workaholics vs party animals. Those that do their research of who they are as a person, can figure out how to have fun while being constructive. This automatically balances you out. That’s how you can have a job where you don’t ever feel like you’re actually working.
If you can’t have fun when you’re being productive, the way to balance yourself here is choosing when to be purposeful and when to have fun. My suggestion? Work before play, but make sure you get to have fun.
4.) Wealth (Finance being a part of this)– Finally in Chris’ story, we need to realize the importance of money in his life. At the beginning, he doesn’t have very much of it. In the end, he has the opportunity to make plenty. Getting the chance to live his dream and be a player on Wall Street, definitely comes from his need to make a better living for himself and his family. There is nothing wrong with having this as a goal. However, we shouldn’t confuse this with just being rich to be rich.
In the Bible, it is said that “the love of money is root of all evil”. This is correct. To pursue money just to have it, is probably not the best thing for a person as it’s probably an addiction at that point and at the same time, they’re probably not doing too much with it. Instead, money should be considered a tool that amplifies the person that is using it. Good people will use it for good, while bad people will use it for bad things. Chris using his money to help his family move forward was a good thing. If used correctly for good, money can have a lot of impact – more than any one person can have in physical labor alone. Therefore the more money you have, the more people you have the potential to benefit.
2015 Edit: 5.) The Little Things – Since 2010 when I originally wrote this, I’ve realized that there is more to life that makes one happy. The fifth pillar could be referred to the little things. Each of us has particular small things in our life that we kind of geek over. For example, if you’re into sports, you might be into stats of pitchers, QBs, goalies, etc. You might attend games. You might even be into ::gasp:: Fantasy Football!
This pillar is as important as the other pillars. However, that said, it tends to be the one that people focus on the most. This is where you find all the little distractions in life including social media, gaming, and other new technology. While these things are great to have, too much of them can definitely be a bad thing. You need to equally be spending time with each pillar.
Things to Mention:
The thing to mention is with any of the pillars is that the less balanced one of them is, the more you think about and worry about it. Just like you’re suffocating and need air. Why? Because you feel that something is wrong – but you just can’t figure out what it is… or how to solve it. But you sense it. For example, if you have subpar relationships, you probably spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to get better ones. Or, if you have little money, you probably spend more time thinking about how to get it. You see the pattern.
Something else I want to mention here is two words we hear so much in society today. I used to wonder what the terms “shallow” and “deep” meant when describing a person. What I have found is that when a person is said to be “shallow” it’s because they are actually balancing very little. They typically are only interested in that very little – and that’s generally why they have little to talk about. On the other end, a person who is “deep” is one who has learned how to balance all their pillars and are fine tuning them on a regular basis. They have probably spent time learning about the different pillars (while they might not have realized it!) and have more to talk about with more people. If you want to have more friends… deeper friends… here’s a suggestion: get deeper into yourself. Find out what you are passionate about in life and learn how to share that passion with others.
So what do you think about the 4 Pillars of Happyness? Is there another pillar you might not be aware of?
https://www.newinceptions.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/will-smith-jaden-smith-the-pursuit-of-happyness-fresh-hd-wallpaper-2.jpg8001280JChttp://www.newinceptions.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/NI-Web-Logo8.20165.pngJC2010-12-25 23:29:452017-08-22 15:32:33The 5 Pillars of Happiness
, has done for millions of people. Personally, I had seen Will Smith’s 
a few years before I ever had heard that it was actually based on the life story of Chris. But if you think you ever have it bad, I got to say it probably pales in comparison. I mean, he really did. At the time that he was going through so much grief in his life, he really didn’t have anyone to turn to. I mean for crying out loud, he and his son had to sleep in a subway restroom.