How Do You Creatively Express Yourself?

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Creativity is putting your imagination to work, and it’s produced the most extraordinary results in human culture. – Ken Robinson

What does it take to get to the pinnacle of your industry and be fulfilled? Does it take skill? Does it take engagement with others? Does it take working long hard hours?

Be it being a motivational speaker or an engineer, there is something that both of these people must learn how to do to be fulfilled while they work. And as you might realize, it’s about being creative in what you do day to day that will make you fulfilled. Those that are creative have fulfillment in their lives. While those that don’t have creativity in their lives, might be successful, their success is not their own. They’re possibly doing stuff they don’t care too much about.

So how do we get in the zone to be creative? How do we get to a point where we know that the work we’re doing is expressing ourselves? That’s

For me, I’ve always been creative when I interact with people. A lot of people consider me one of the most transparent people they know. And as a connector, I think it’s important that I have a certain level of authenticity. And whether I’m connecting with mechanics who love working on cars or high ranking business types, I try and stay the same person. However, as I’m as much as an introvert as I am a extrovert, I have to get ready to be engaging with those folk. Heck, even writing blogs posts, making podcasts, or working on future works takes creative energy.

Everyone gets their creative juices rolling differently.  I mean, not everyone is a connector and I wouldn’t expect that what works for me, work for you. However, I will say that there is a framework you can use when you’re trying to be more creative.

Habits of Highly Creative People

When you think of people who are successful, (and I mean in whatever view you think of success being defined as) do you believe that particular person is expressive of who they are?

More than likely, you do.

When you think of Steve Jobs from the quote above, do you believe that he had his own certain way to do stuff? That he had time that he sat aside to think about what was next? When he presented himself, did he have a certain way he did that?

Of course, the answer to all of these is yes.

Creative people (and not just business owners and visionaries) have certain routines that they go through that makes them who they are on a day to day basis. Whether or not it’s using a meditation app, or the actual way they work, there are certain habits that all creative people have.

They are Creative By Themselves. 

When it comes down to it, it’s hard to be a creative at the flick of a switch in front of people. If you’re lucky, you might have a gift and be able to convey a concise idea right on the spot for a presentation. Or you might be able to just strum up a tune on your guitar. For most of us, though, we have to go through a creative process that allows us to hone our skill before our big presentation.

Before executing, I find it useful to go through the following steps.

Habit 1: They Meditate (or Zone Out) – There are multiple ways that you can meditate, or what I call it, zone out. (And when I’m saying zone out, I mean purposely get to a point where your mind is clear.) For some, the actual exercise of what could be labeled as meditation is what works for them. For others, doing yard work, or exercise let’s them zone out. Yet others might not be able to fully go into a trance, but perhaps video gaming, drawing, or using Autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR) might get you close enough.

The reason that I believe that meditation (or zoning out) is important is because it helps you erase your mind’s chalk board. Without it, you’re just adding layer upon layer of thought. Focus becomes really hard… and you need to focus to create.

Habit 2: They Plan – This is a highly important aspect of being a creative. Otherwise I wouldn’t focus so much on it so much myself. My planning methods have been mentioned pretty recently. So hopefully you took some notes.

Habit 3: They Reflect – Another aspect that you can’t afford to not do. One thing you need to check regularly is whether or not what you’re doing is making you happy. If you’re not, figure out an escape plan. It might be difficult to deal with some of your demons, but in the end it’ll be worth it.

In business, we call this studying your metrics. You have to check your own metrics to make sure you’re getting things done that is worth your time to do. If you do repetitive stuff, perhaps you don’t need to reflect as much, but it’s still important to know if you’re going on the right course or not. If you’re an artist, asking yourself are “people happy with my work” is just as important as asking yourself “is my work selling at the right price?”.

Habit 4: Their Work Space Reflects Who They Are – This is something I haven’t touched on before, but I think it’s something that I know is vital to my ability to get things done. You need to be comfortable in the space that you spend the most creative time in. The best and easiest way to do that is to design it yourself. Do your own Feng Shui if need be, but make sure that you know where things are and that it’s to the level of chaos that you can operate in. (Tip: You know you’re done making it your own when others can tell what kind of person you are after seeing it.)

They are Creative with Others.

Once we have the planning and practice thought through, it’s time to execute. Or as others might say, play. You do this by using your voice. In this post, we talked about what it meant to find your voice and why finding your voice is important. Specifically, that it gives you confidence to be yourself. However, many times we can find our voice in something other than the verbal meaning. Many times our work reflects what we’re saying.

Habit 5: They Show Creativity through Engagement – When we’re engaged in our own work, we’re expressing ourselves.What does your work say about you? When you were a kid, were you concerned with what other people thought of your sand castle? Probably not. Were you concerned with what others thought about you exclaiming that you were Leonardo or that your dad was Hulk Hogan, or perhaps you wanted to be like Mike?? Probably not.

As adults, we think such things are so trivial. But are they? I believe that early on, people portray who they are and what they see themselves as by idolizing people and/or ideas that sync with that. It’s when other people and the adult world tells them to grow up that we start disconnecting with what makes us unique. I think the only difference that we need to realize as we grow older is that we make a living based on how we add value to others. Most of society says that’s through a J.O.B., but as creators, we know that’s not necessarily the case. We can still be our own creative selves and add value to others too!

When you express yourself through your work, simply ask yourself these questions: Am I sharing my true thoughts, feelings, frustrations, and dreams? Do I feel the best of me is coming out when I create? Do I see myself making a living off of this work? If your answer to any of these questions is no, it might be time to open up a little more or figure out how your work can add value to others.

Habit 6: They Show Creativity in How Their Work Defines Them – When you do work, do you have the end in mind when you’re doing that work? Does your work reflect how you want people to think of you? If you’re being rejected for who you truly are or for your contributions you believe are creative and valuable, then that might be a sign that you’re in the wrong place or community. Unless you want to give up on your dreams and end up as a cog as part of a machine that works for it’s designers, don’t silence yourself. When you work yourself into your work, there’s a much higher chance that ultimately your work will tell the world who you are and were.

Homework:

So how do you get in the zone? How do you make sure you’re expressing yourself in your work? If you’re having issues doing either one, I hope the above helps you to think about how you can improve your creative flow. I know for me, meditation is key to be creative. I need to clean the slate. Sometimes I do it through walking my dogs, sometimes I do it through doing a bit of yard work, other times it might just be listening to particular music.

Think about these 6 habits and how you might already be doing them. Once you’ve done that, chime in below and let’s see if we can help others get their creativity flowing!

Planning a Monthly Calendar

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Here’s a phrase that I’ve been working on as I’ve been getting better at planning my time in the past year. “If you can show me a person’s calendar, I can tell you their view of their future.”

It came from two older quotes that I hear quite a bit.

“Show me the stubs in a man’s checkbook and I will tell you what kind of man he is.” – G.K. Chesterton

Which I think it’s a play off of Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra’s quote,

“Tell me thy company, and I’ll tell thee what thou art.”

As I’ve come to realize over the years, both of these statements are true. Many times we see people who have to have the newest and the best things having the lowest self esteems. It makes sense, I used to be that way. I just wanted to fill a hole in my life. What I found out was that those who hold on to things and fix them when needed, tend to be happier. I can proudly say I’m part of the second group now.

The second quote, is another way of thinking about the saying “You are the average of the people you spend the most time with.” Again, very true. Whether or not you realize it, you’re being influenced by the attitudes and mindset of those that you’re around the most. This is why support groups and  masterminds are so important.

You are the Schedule that You Keep

It seems to me that those that plan the less, always let their circumstances plan out their day, their week, and maybe even their year. All they ever do is things for the now and the near future… not 5 or 10 years down the line. I think that comes from formal education failing them.

If there is something that formal education of the past is really good at is getting people to be followers. However, it doesn’t really help build leaders.

Even to this day I struggle with making a calendar. For me, every week is the relatively the same. I write my blog post, publish the podcast, do any marketing, and work on any upcoming products. When I’m not actively learning, I’m spending time with Maria. I think other people have similar structures of their week too. When they’re not at work or the gym, they’re hanging out with the family or getting things done around the house.

It really takes a miracle for something new to be added to our calendars.

However, by the end of this post today, I think you’ll have a little more guidance on how you can slowly change your life simply by planning it out month by month, week by week. It’s really helped me move forward in life, I expect it to do the same for you.

In fact, I don’t think I would have ever gotten to where I am today if I didn’t start making a calendar as I previously mentioned in my guide to planning a productive week.

Making a Monthly Calendar

Living a life to your full potential is all about intentionally deciding to live that way. We need to choose what you’re doing each moment. However, most of us are not used to living like that. One of the reason’s that jobs are so appealing, I think, is because we’re used to handing those choices over to someone else. Again, thank you formal education. (Side note: I think it’s important that we give kids options as they’re growing up. The more we do, the more they start thinking what consequences choosing one option over the other will have. Otherwise, they’re not going to know how to choose to do things when they’re older.)

So let’s make a monthly calendar to give ourselves a chance to better ourselves and our lives. How do we do that?

It’s actually fairly simple. You simply add themes, challenges, objectives, major events, and connect those all with the weekly plans that we’ve already talked about.

Let’s start with the important “large stones” first.

Major Events (Events Related to the Rest of the World)

You know what these are, and most people put these on their calendars if they keep them anyway. However, let’s look at what all we should include.

  • Birthdays (Yup. Of course.)
  • Anniversaries (Yes. This one is important.)
  • Weddings (Hey, you’ve probably known for awhile. Just write it down.)
  • Holidays (Any that you’re doing differently than what Google Calendar already does for you)
  • Vacations (You’ll want to do this just to make sure you’re seeing what you need to compress into the few weeks before hand.)
  • Extracurriculars (This might involve moving, adjusting to a new work schedule, having a kid, doc and medical visits, etc. You’ll have to adjust the actual dates based on when these happen.)

Whatever you can think up, you should mark it down. If you have a anniversary that’s going to include vacation time, mark it down. Specifically what it is and how long it’s lasting. Also, realize that if you’re having a kid, then there’s going to be time associated with adjusting with newborn. Likewise with vacation. More than likely you’re not going to do actual work on vacation. Figure out how much time both might take and communicate it with any people who need to know. You don’t need to cause yourself or them any confusion.

Themes, Challenges, and Objectives (Events Related to Your Life, Work, and Study)

Ok, now is the additional stuff that is going to really help you figure out how you’re shaping your own future. Each one of these will be broken down into further pieces, the weekly plans and then each day (again, what we’ve already covered).

  • Themes When you think of a theme, think of the highest level of things you’d like to change. Here at New Inceptions, we categorize themes as The 5 Pillars of Happyness. These Pillars are Relationships, Health, Purpose, Finance, and the Little Things. The first four are pretty easy to understand, the Little Things is anything that makes you happy (travel, shopping, gaming, etc.). So perhaps with relationships, you’d like to get married. Ok, well, we’re going to have to make time to find someone. Come up with strategies to do so, and then come up with times to date. Obviously that’ll come one step at a time, but you see where I’m going. These tend to relate to seasons and years.
  • Challenges and Objectives – These are essentially the same thing. Challenges are done for fun, while objectives are done for work purposes. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if it’s one or the other. (Dating would be a good example.) But, say, if you wanted to do a triathlon, that’d be a challenge. An objective would be losing so many pounds. Ideally these relate better with months, while their smaller counterparts, projects and tasks, relate to weeks and days, respectively.

 

Weekly Planning

This is what we’ve already we’ve already learned about (again, here’s the link).

It’s the glue of the month. However, they are simply a reflection of planning projects. Not actually planning meaningful action. Just because you have a theme, challenge, and/or objective identified, doesn’t mean you have the actual time allocated to get it done.

Homework:

How’s your planning going? Have you been using the weekly planning guide? If so, how’s it working for you? I really hope this helps you add another level to your planning. What do you think about monthly or weekly planning? What have you seen as a result since you’ve started implementing it yourself? Would love to hear from you below, on Facebook, or Twitter!

How to Raise Your Standards

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Great standards to strive for, right? Brendon always makes me think about things in a new light.

You know, we’re all trying to strive to higher levels. One of my all time most visited posts is this one I shared about 21 Standards that we can live and work by. However, since then, I’ve talked with a few readers who have thought that a person with all of those standards is someone who is completely unlike them.

They believe that they’re just too different. And those differences will prohibit them from ever reaching that level of success in their lives. They’ll never be like that expert… that ideal or model person. That person is just way too different.

They might even say, “I don’t trust them. They’re fake.” or “It’s easy for them to say, they don’t get where I’m coming from.”

And believe me, I can see where they’re coming from. In fact, I’ve been there. And what I found out is that there’s two parts in how you can raise your standards.

Add New Habits and Standards In (One by One)

This self limiting belief that “I’ll never be able to be successful” is one that I hear too often. Be the ideal person that they’re comparing themselves to is someone like Joe (the original author of those 21 standards) or another “ideal person”, they simply don’t see themselves being able to shed their old self. Again, I can relate. (I mean, as you guys know… I had a HUGE problem with having a positive attitude all the time. But in retrospect, it was a good exercise for me to have gone through.)

A person that has a life full of standards is one who has been working on making themselves better day after day. Each standard that they live by, they more than likely developed it separately from the others. They practiced it daily until it became automatic. Then they started working on another personal standard.

For example, when I first was in college, I simply didn’t make good grades. Part of this could have been the fact that my major was one of the hardest on campus. However, I think the problem was mainly the fact that I didn’t know how to study. And because I didn’t know how to study, my test taking was horrible as well. (Why should I know how to study? I was able to cruise through high school by simply fumbling around the test and getting by with B’s and A’s on my report card.)

I knew I was a good student. That I had it in me to get good grades. I just had to figure out how to play the game. I knew I had to raise my standards.

So when I realized that the material wasn’t the problem, but, instead, was the actual practices I used to “study” back then, it was certainly nice to know what the problem was. (My studying habits were “do the ones you know how to do and if you don’t know how to do them, then copy off of someone else.” This practice would soon almost get me kicked out!) Essentially I was looking at the problem as a whole and not breaking the questions down (as I’d later find out in my study group).

As I got better at studying, I got more comfortable with the material that was being taught in class. In fact, by the time I was in my second senior year (of 3), my test taking skills started going up as well. Why? Because I was no longer having anxiety during the test. I realized that most problems that I had were a matter of knowing a process to break them down. Prior to that point, I was constantly second guessing myself as to whether I really knew the answer or not before I even attempted breaking it down.

So when I finally knew the material and what the patterns were to solve the problems, I actually performed fairly well on tests after that. (I hope that relates to some of you who majored in a STEM field. If your major involved a ton of writing… I always did well by just writing down everything I knew and/or thought about a given subject and then linking them together.)

How does this apply here? The same strategy can be applied to other practices in life.

Let’s say you want to have better health. First, you need to start telling yourself that you are a healthy person. Do this regularly. Especially when you have cravings for a snack. Telling yourself this will help you from jumping off the wagon.  You do this because your mind starts believing things the more it hears it. Next, change your diet. Once that becomes natural, then start getting more sleep. Then after that, try to exercise more. Do one for 30 days, then add the next for 30 days, and then add the next. After 90 days, you’ll have three healthy habits you’ll find hard to quit. Spoon feed yourself these new habits or you’ll choke and not accomplish any of it.

Limiting and/or Removing Old Standards and Habits

You probably wondered when this was going to happen. I mean, the last example I gave with being more healthy, you were probably thinking, “Well, if I add more sleep and exercise more, how am I supposed to keep on top of all my TV shows in the evening?” or something similar. There are only so many hours in a day, right?

This is true. However, let’s think about two contrasting thoughts here.

  1.  You don’t have to be an exact replica of that model person you’re aiming to have similar qualities with. Just because you’re trying to be healthier, doesn’t mean you have to cut out all of your unhealthy habits. You can still binge on sweets, TV, video games, etc. (Just not like you used to…)
  2. As you change more and more and come closer to that model person that you want to be similar to (but not exactly like), you’re going to make more and more comparisons (micro-comparisons, even?) in what you do with your time and effort vs what they do with their time and effort. It’s natural as we grow as a human. In fact, you probably won’t notice the transformation as it doesn’t come over night. But if you keep a journal and/or analyze the thoughts you have right now vs the thoughts you had before you started your journey to the new you, they’re going to be crazy different.

Essentially, one side of you wants to remain YOU. The other side wants to change just enough to get their results.

Here’s the deal with those two thoughts. One one side, I think it’s inherent that you’re going to want to keep doing some of the things that you believe make you, you. I mean, after all, you don’t want to be that like that know it all expert, right? They don’t seem real. You want to make the transformation on your own terms. I totally get that.

The other side of you is like “Uh, I really think we need to be better at drinking water. That know it all expert actually does that pretty well. You always see her with a bottle. I wonder how she trained herself to drink water all the time.” Eventually, what you might come to find out is that the reason you might not have trusted or disliked someone at first is because they made you feel highly uncomfortable at the beginning. They were too alien. They were too good to be true.

However, now that you’re closer to them in multiple ways, you see them not only as a teacher, you actually start thinking of them as a person. And you might even start seeing some of their faults. They’re not as perfect as you once thought they were.

When you hit this level. You’ll get a different perspective not only on them and their actions, but on your actions as well. Knowing that this person puts on their pants one leg at a time just like you, you’ll start realizing some of the sacrifices they’ve made to get as far as they have.

This is when you ask yourself, do I want to have the results they have? If the answer is yes, then you’ll make the sacrifices they have. If the answer is no, then you’ll keep those old parts of your life as you see fit.

And just so you know when it’s right to be an “expert” for other people. I personally believe that this is the point. When you have learned all that you can from that previous ideal or model person, have gotten some of your own results, and can understand their actions might contradict what you want your end goal to be… that’s when you’re now in the teacher’s seat.

Homework:

What’s one subject that you know quite a bit about now that at one point you were clueless about? Maybe you had no idea where to start when you first began? Perhaps you were afraid to start? Do you remember where and from whom you learned the knowledge you have now? Let us know below. You might even gain some new students!

AoL009: Ideas to Improve all the Tomorrows of your Life with Jim Vaughan

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Gary Vaynerchuk, Pat Flynn, Tim Ferriss, even Tony Robbins. These are names that we can picture when we think about being successful in climbing their respective career mountains. We all know these names because they share, on a regular basis, how they got to where they’re at and what they’re currently doing. One thing that they all have in common is that they’re releasing new content all the time. That’s what makes them popular, I’m sure.

They all are people we’d consider to be extraordinary and able to give lots of information in how we can be great like them. However, the idea of being great and teaching others to be the same isn’t new. Would you believe that Tony Robbins wasn’t the first big self-help star out there? He had to learn from others… but who did he learn from? Who was popular in that time?

These were questions I continually searched when I first learned about the self-help field. I know Tony mentions a few in his books, but I always wondered if there were others that were popular at the time. If you know Tony’s story, you know that he started out pretty normal like most of us. So it wasn’t like he had special access to any insider information.

When I met Jim Vaughan in 2012, he helped shed some light on this mystery. With the site that he had at the time, I was able to go into this vast library and learn from some of these past rock stars of success. Some of those names included Earl Nightingale, Paul J. Meyer, Andrew Carnegie and others. These are people who he considers part of his Personal Board of Directors. These were people that I was sure that could have impacted Tony’s education!

And when I say education, don’t believe that what I’m talking about has anything to do with what you find in formal education. You know, K-12 and college. So much of that knowledge is a complete waste of time when it comes to actually being successful in life. I mean, outside of those who graduated with a STEM related major, it’s insane how many college graduates don’t have a job in the field they went to school for. However, I’m sure you know this. (Hell, you might even be one of those people. I feel your pain. I went to school for a STEM related major… and used it for a whole two years before I realized that it didn’t fit what I wanted to do.)

So, if you feel that you’ve been lead astray in your career (and life in general) and want to really learn from proven old-school life advice, I’d check out what Jim has to say. He’s been listening and implementing a lot of it for a good part of his life and is now dedicated to passing that knowledge along. It might just help you be the next Tony Robbins in your field.

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL LEARN:

  • Why Jim started listening to success masters and how they amplified his career.
  • How Jim got hired to do DJ work at the White House (yes, that White House).
  • How you can change your thought process to get to where you want in life.
  • What kind of impact Jim wants to make with his businesses.
  • How Jim came up with the idea for the IQ Morning Report and what it consists of.
  • Why he believes it’s so important to keep learning.
  • Some of the great tips he’s learned through the years including the easiest way to become a people magnet.
  • Proof that you don’t need a formal education to do well for yourself in life.
  • …and MUCH more.

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Here’s some popular YouTube videos and other media related to Jim’s Personal Board of Directors:

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

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And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes, Stitcher, and/or Podbean. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

Tips For Finding, Hiring, and Working with a Career Coach

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It’s November and many people’s minds are on winter coming up. I know as I’m looking out the window, it’s already that wintery gray with occasional yellow leaf still hanging on a tree. While gazing out there, I find myself asking, “Didn’t we just have winter? What happened to summer?!?”

For many people, the changing of the seasons suggests that change is needed in their lives. They could be thinking a number of things. In fact, you might place me with the bunch that says “I’m not taking another one of these! It’s time to move south!” However, some people actually make the jump.

Another jump that might be made during the change of the seasons, and more specifically in the fall, are career changes. For whatever reason, people regularly change careers in the fall. (Personally, I don’t know why that is. Any thoughts? Is it related to the fiscal year ending?)

Like many transitions in life, there are professionals that are available for hire that can help you with your change of career. These people are called Career Coaches.

Signs You Need a Career Coach

You know, I believe that if you want to be someone you’re not, then you’re going to need help to get there. There are different types of people who can help you get to the next level. Those that are direct and those that are indirect. Examples of people who are more direct in helping others are teachers, managers, and leaders. Examples of indirect helpers would be counselors, mentors, and finally coaches. Coaches being the most extreme of being indirect. To me, a coach is someone who can take another person where they can’t take themselves. I say this because I think people can teach themselves how to do stuff. However, I don’t think they get out of their own head and look at a certain situation from another perspective too well.

I mean, wouldn’t it be nice if we could fix mental blocks we might have and be better at something? To give ourselves that extra push to get out of a particular comfort zone? The truth is that while we like to believe that we’re great at making ourselves better, more often than not, that isn’t always the case. If we knew what was keeping us from going to the next level, then doesn’t it make sense that we would have made that adjustment already and gotten there?

That said, here are a few signs you should be able to recognize as a signal that it’s time to get a career coach.

  • You feel like you’re spinning your wheels in your current career or position.
  • You feel like you’re not given a chance to prove the person you believe yourself to be.
  • You feel like you have problems with meeting new people in professional settings.
  • You’ve been out of work for a long time and feel that you might run out of runway to get another job, or start a new career.
  • You feel like your job and your co-workers jobs are possibly about to be cut.

While this list isn’t extensive, I believe it kinda gives a valid barometer of the things you should be asking yourself “Do I feel…”. If the answer is yes, then it’s time to start looking.

Choosing A Coach

Just like there are many kinds of doctors, there are many kinds of coaches. And believe me, they come with all kinds of shapes and sizes. While many of us can help with general stuff (resume and coverletter writing, interviews, networking, etc.) many us specialize. For me, I like working with millennials who want more in life and are thinking about eventually doing their own thing. Other coaches might focus with people with ADHD or people interested in a STEM field. Yet others might focus with women or those who are thinking about being semi-retired after they leave their current position.

So think about what kind of person you are first. Then think if the coaches you’re looking at fit that description.

Next, think about what you want to get done. What do you want them to help you with? As I said, I like working with people my own age who are wanting to be an expert in the work they have a passion for. And while I can help you do general job hunting stuff, it’s not my bread and butter. In fact, when people want to acquire a job in a field I have no clue in, I generally pass them on to other coaches.

So get a list of 5 coaches that might be able to help you with what you want to get done.

Once you have that last part figured out, you need to interview them. Many of us offer discovery sessions if we expect to be working with people for 6 or more sessions – so that would be your opportunity. (If they’re only going to work with you for 3 to 6 sessions, you might need to find another way.)

Questions that you might ask during this interview include:

  • What should I expect from working with you?
  • Can you share success stories? (Focus on whether they’re describing you in these stories.)
  • What’s your fee structure like? (Find out if they charge by session, by hour, by month, or a combination of the three.)
  • How would you describe your coaching style? (Again are they more direct like a teacher or are they going to help lead you to your own answers? Which one do you have time for?)

Working with a Coach

Once you have selected your coach and it’s time to start working with them, there’s a few things that you ought to do to make your time count with them.

Prepare for every session. You’re paying for this session. So think about how you’re going to get the best of it.What kind of learner are you? Do you like to write notes? Do you need to record the sessions? Maybe you should get any resumes or past documents you’ve prepared in getting a job. Come prepared with a list of questions, ideas, and/or notes you’ve been thinking about.

Keep communication lines open. If you have any personal challenges with something, let your coach know. Are you having financial issues? Perhaps you’re going through some relationship problems. Or maybe you’re struggling with something the coach said. These are things that they need to know to help you craft the best plan possible. So let your coach know about them in a tactful way.

Assessments aren’t everything. If you know me, you should know I’m a huge fan of personality assessments. The main reason is because I think they helped me realize what I should have gone to school for. However, I need to make sure I emphasize “helped”. Everyone is different. And just because you have the same personality type, or the same believes, or the same values as someone else, doesn’t mean you have to be a carbon clone of that person. You’re going to have different experiences, skills, and thoughts than that other person. Let all of those combine to figure out what you’re true calling is.

Rome wasn’t built in a day. When building a skyscraper, construction companies will spend just about as much time building the foundation as they do building the actual building itself. Why is that? Because it needs to support all that weight.

This is true of coaching (and many other processes in life that are worth pursuing), too. Sometimes we’re building something so big we won’t realize it. We’ll hit a plateau and be frustrated one day, and the next we’ll feel that we’re making great strides in our life. The thing is that there’s so many variables in making a career transition that it’s really hard to tell exactly how long it will take for any particular individual – let alone everyone. So results will vary.

Expected Results vs Actual Results

Again, results will vary. Everyone is different. Realize that just like a player on the field will accumulate 120 yards one day and another receiver in that same system will go only 15, there are many different variables as to why that happened. Perhaps the player didn’t have as many opportunities to catch the ball. Or perhaps he dropped one or two of the passes that were sent his way. At the end of the game, they’re on the same winning team and they still won.

Likewise, your coach is putting you through the same system they’ve put others through before as well. However, you’re going to be starting from a different starting point and have different motivators. While your coach is giving you the strategies and guidance to make great plays, in the end is up to you to be that MVP. You’re the one that has to complete what is asked of you.

Homework:

Like all my other posts, here’s something for you to do right now with what you’ve just finished reading.

I want you to think of 3 things that you’re happy about from your current position. Then what are 3 things that frustrate you about your career.

Now, from those 3 things that frustrate you, what is one thing you’d love help with? List that one thing below. We’d love to see what kinds of things you guys are struggling with. Hopefully we’ll be able to help! (If you want our help in particular, you can find out more about our services here.)

How to Deal with Self-Doubt In Your Career

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Just recently listened to the following podcast via the Fizzle crew,

… and it really got me thinking about how people go through episodes of self doubt. Self doubt is, by no means, limited to those of us who are interested in becoming full time entrepreneurs. It happens to all of us.

When we get new jobs or think about major life changes (having kids, buying a new house, or losing a parent) we think about how that will effect us as a person. For me, I was always worrying about if I could ever find the right career to suit who I was as a person. Today, I struggle with wondering if and when New Inception’s audience is ever going to grow enough so that we can make an impact in a million lives. Who are the people I need to meet and connect with the most?

Another thing I think about from time to time is future kids cramping Maria’s and my future career and life… or adding fuel for me to get stuff done. Brian would be the first one to say that kids are awesome. I’ve heard many people say that the reason they work so hard is because of their kids. They’ve made their kids their reason, not their excuse. However, I’ve seen time and time again where kids have made their parents a shell of a person that they once were. Here I am, at the ripe age of 34, and I still think that the phrase “my kids” is just as alien as saying “my mansion”. Is it something I’d like someday? Yeah, sure. Just after I get my Ferrari.

Feeling like I know myself too well, sometimes I feel that my visions and goals are just out of my reach. Like a better version of me could obtain them. But this version? Yeah right.

However, for us to get anywhere in life, I think we have to develop a little bit of, what Corbett called it, delusional thinking. That we can do anything we want to do. Furthermore, I think we can also attack self doubt with a little framework that I heard about a few years ago. It’s called the Question Your Worrying Model.

Getting Past Self-Doubt in Your Career

The following particulars ways of dealing with Self-Doubt are from when I was studying for a final back at Purdue one time. I had several successful years under my belt already, so I knew I could pass classes. It was just that this particular class had already really stretched me. So as a way to distract myself, I started thinking about ways that I had been able to do well on past finals. This is what I came up with:

Recognize that you’re probably not the first one. When it comes to finals, I wasn’t the first one that ever freaked out about them. Today, I usually can talk myself out of much of my self-doubt because I’m pretty sure there have been others before me that have probably had this same concern.

Question Your Doubt. This is another great reason to keep a journal. If you ever have a self-doubt that keeps coming up, perhaps it would help if you keep track of past times when you’ve had self-doubts. Ask yourself, is this the same one as before? Is it realistic? What do you think is causing it? Once you go through this deep thought once, in the future, it’ll be that much easier to deal with it.

Celebrate Your Successes. The truth is that you’ve probably have had plenty of success in your life to draw from support. If you’ve done your homework and have celebrated them as you’ve had them, recounting them should be easy. Thinking about them will bring back positive emotional support. That said, even if you can’t think of anything off the top of your head, realize that it’s almost statistically impossible that you even exist in the first place. (Check the accompanying info-graphic for proof.)

Seek out mentors, teachers, and other support. I’m not sure about you, but I occasionally get paranoid about my interpersonal skills. I think that maybe I’m coming off differently than I hope people see me. I guess that’s just the introvert in me double thinking every word. Totally task oriented at times.

When I feel that I might be doing this, I seek others to see if I was too “focused”. I can tell you, even on my weekly first of the week talk with Brian and Jon today, I was definitely more focused on what had to get done this week other than the things that they were having to go through this week and next.

More on that point, when I feel that I I’m seriously struggling with a perspective on something, I’ll generally have a discussion with Frank (who’d I consider a mentor of mine) for verification or clarification.

Relax and focus on something else. Sometimes breaks are needed. You’d be surprised how many times you can just walk away from whatever has you worrying for 5 or 10 minutes (or an evening) and come back to it refreshed. You might even wonder why it had you down in the first place. Truly, sometimes you really need to sleep on it.

Face your fears. We always dread about the worst that can happen in certain instances that cause self-doubt. However, the catch is that the worst thing will probably not happen. Instead of running from your fears, get mad (or at least frustrated) and ask yourself how long is this fear of what probably won’t happen going to keep me from achieving what I want to do? You’d be surprised in how many times I’ve surprised myself with how well something went when all I did was just try it.

Talk yourself into it! In my last post, I shared a story of Brendon Burchard’s about how he had a student in a speech class one time and she eventually was able to go from being a super quiet girl to getting in front of her peers and giving a speech. Part of that journey was giving herself a pep talk as others were comforting her.

Even though the others were there, she was listening to herself. This is what I mean by coaching yourself. Telling yourself “You got this.” does wonders. Give yourself an idea of what success looks like. Is it yourself in a new job? Is it you giving a presentation and everyone is smiling? Just Do It!

Set some goals. I mean, I feel that we might have covered this one several times too many in the podcast recently, but hey, you might be new here and I want to make sure you get it. When it comes to goals, you can make goals for what you envision OR just an obstacle itself. However, I feel that this part is huge in actually getting things done.

Homework:

So as you can see, self-doubt happens all the time. Be it in school, at the job, or if you’re starting a business (hell, even if you have already). The key is to learn how to manage those negative emotions. We’d love to hear from you in regards to this. If you have any further tactics in dealing with self-doubt, let me know! You can do so below OR… let us know in the New Inceptions Masterminder Facebook Group.

Why We Procrastinate and What You Can Do About It

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Procrastination. Wow, if you wanted to talk about what has been my Achilles’ heel since college (and even before then)… it’s probably this. I’ve been doing a lot of research lately in trying to figure out a fix for my procrastination. And what I’ve come to find is that there is indeed a reason for why we procrastinate. In a nutshell, the following video by Vik Nithy shows the psychological reasoning behind why we do it:

If that description is too analytical for you, then you can find a drawn out and very relatable version here.

The Gist of Why We Procrastinate

There are two parts of your brain (literally and figuratively) that are at odds with each other when it comes to getting stuff done. You have a smart part, and a dumb part.

The smart one, which holds your personality and all of your good intentions, is telling you that you have something that needs to be done.

However, the dumb one, well, all it wants to do is just surf the web, play video games, or go screw around outside. Funny enough, part of it is in charge of decision making, play, and panicking.

It also doesn’t help that the dumb one also stores the factory of Dopamine. And let me tell you something about it… Dopamine is a hell of a drug. Gaming to me in the past might almost be as good as cocaine. (For more info on why people do cocaine: Cocaine stimulating Dopamine release.)

So, obviously, the fight between the smart part of your brain vs the dumb part is actually kind of won before it even starts if our brain is more receptive to short term rewards than long term ones.

In short, the more you’ve given in to short term rewards in the past, the more your brain is literally addicted to their effects – whether or not you had long term goals or not.

Three Steps We Can Use to Effectively Battle Procrastination

In the video above, Vik talks about 6 key things you must do to battle procrastination:

  • Plan Goals
  • Plan Time
  • Plan Resources
  • Plan the Process
  • Plan for Distractions
  • Plan for Failure

I’m going to kind of theme them together in three steps so that it’s something you do a little more automatically when you’re trying to avoid procrastination when starting a new project.

You want to do something? First, you need to research the hell out of it. What do top experts say in doing that? What does it look like when you’re done? Is it worth your time in pursuing it? This is how you start planning your process. The dumb part of your brain should have no difficulty looking this stuff up – especially if it’s something you have a passion to do. (If it does, you might need to plan this phase out too.)

As part of your process planning, figure out what you have and don’t have to get the job done. Are you trying to learn a new language? A new skill? Do some inventory checking and get those missing things of what you’re going to need. (It might be as simple as downloading an app!)

Effective Journaling and Planning Your Week takes care of goals and time. However, as you’re planning out your week to work on a project or your months to work on a new skill, I’d plan for almost twice as long to get the thing accomplished.  You’re going to run into some bumps in the road (failures and distractions). Either the dogs will want to go out three times during your project or the kids might want for you to go watch them at their baseball game in the 2nd week of your training. But when you’re done with those distractions, you’ll come back and be able to get right back on track because you’ll have your goals written down.

Homework:

So the next time you’re wanting to do something, be it recording a podcast, or even learning how to ride a bike at the age of 34, I want you to see if you can set yourself up from inception to completion: Research, plan and journal your activities. Come back and let me know how it works out for you! Or, if you’ve already implemented it, drop a comment below.

Extra Points: Identify what kind of procrastinator you are here. If it doesn’t exist, name it and let us know why you came up with that name.