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self image

Eleven Quick Tips to Improve Your Self Image: A Big Part of Fulfilling Your Personal Mission

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As I’m approaching the release of my newest resource on finding a Personal Mission, I thought a good lead into the launch should involve some related content. Last week’s post was an example. Here’s another one.

This piece, originally posted on October 26th, 2010, is probably one of my favorite early posts.

I used to struggle with my self image a lot. A good part of it was because I didn’t have my own mission yet. I was a fish trying to compare myself to monkeys when it came to climbing trees. Perhaps just like you, I was told that climbing trees was the best career out there. Except it wasn’t really trees – it was “finding a job”.

It just wasn’t for me – and I eventually figured that out.

Even if you haven’t realized your own mission yet, you can start building your self image. While having your own mission does help with making these tips more practical, sometimes it helps to make the transition one small piece at a time. When you do have a high self image, you’ll have the required confidence to live the life you want. Without the confidence, there’s a good chance you won’t commit!

Getting out of Your Rut

In today’s world, society has forced many of us to be what we’re not. Making us feel like we’re somehow inadequate. For most people, this is considered the norm.

But the result is that it might leave us feeling stuck in a rut.

If you find yourself in this rut and not feeling like you actually appreciate yourself as much as you think you should, then there’s a good chance you have a low self image. As you’ve probably heard, having a good self image can help give someone more confidence. So, increasing your self image can help you with your personal life but it can even help with your professional life.

In the past, as I have worked with others in their self development path, one of the biggest problems I see most frequently are those that deal with self acceptance and self image. As I have personally struggled with my identity and these problems myself, I had plenty of time to figure out what worked and what didn’t… and several times over for others.

1. Clothes Do Make the Man (and Woman)

Yes, it’s an old cliche’, but that doesn’t make it any less true. A few years back, I remember a time when I didn’t really have any more than one oversized suit. Now I have several. Why? Because when we dress confidently, we feel confident. Try this experiment: for one week, dress like the person you want to be, NOT the person you think you are. This one is a simple change and can have the potential to dramatically improve your self image.

2. Keep Your Environment Tidy.

Keeping your house and car clean helps raise your self image. Most people like being in clean areas more than cluttered ones. Those same people tend to get depressed when they’re in a cluttered environment. So instead of submitting yourself to a environment that could prove to be depressing, put some effort into keeping your environment like that of a person you believe to have a higher self image would have. That doesn’t have to be spotless — maybe just organized and practical.

3. Stop Trying so Damn Hard.

Improving your self image should not be about struggling. Give up trying to be a perfectionist, and give yourself permission to be a human being who will naturally make mistakes sometimes. As I mentioned in my last post, detailitis is a disease of success. If you’re constantly searching for perfection, you’re constantly failing to achieve just that. So instead, just strive for excellence. A sure-fire way to feel inferior is to set the bar too high in every area of your life. Cut yourself some slack — you deserve it.

4. Focus Your Attention Outward.

One of my favorite quotes that I quote Zig Ziglar for saying is this: “Those who help enough other people get what they want, automatically get what they want in return.” Lack of confidence often causes people to focus an inordinate amount of attention inward, on the “self.” Make it a point to focus more attention on others than you do on yourself. Remember, confident people focus outward — insecure people focus inward.

5. Avoid Energy Drainers.

All of us know someone who seems to “suck the energy” out of a room just by entering. These negative people are all around us. They might even be your parents.  Give yourself permission to minimize contact with these people. Don’t hate them or judge them in any way. Just recognize that they do not improve the quality of your life, and minimize your connection with them.

6. Take a Chance.

Try something new and different that you may have been apprehensive about in the past. Enroll in an adult education class, or join a book club, gym, bowling league or other social pastime. Anything that will get you out of your shell.  The change will do you good, and your self image will improve!

7. Be a Giver.

The Golden Rule states: “Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.” With that in mind, start giving what you want to receive in life. If you want people to treat you that you’re a confident and human person, Make other people feel as confident and human as you can. When you build up others, you are sure to get back the same thing. Call it karma or what ever you like – it always works!

8. Practice Forgiving Others.

Many people are very hard on themselves because, deep down, there’s something in their past that they would rather forget. If you’re clinging to some failure or transgression from the past, you should realize that you are doing so. Then forgive yourself completely for what it was. Likewise, if someone else did something that you’ve been holding a grudge against. Forgive them and don’t hold that grudge. It’s belittling of people to hold grudges.

9. Learn how to talk to Yourself.

In fact, this is the topic of one of my favorite books. “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself” Some people repeat affirmations such as “I have a great self image,” which is fine, but you can improve your affirmation results by using leading questions such as, “why am I so confident?” When you ask yourself a question like this, your subconscious mind operates in a very simple manner.  It will immediately go to work looking for the answer, and it will report back to you all of the ways you already are confident. This, in turn, will boost your self image.

10. “Model” Other Confident People.

One way to improve your self image is to model the behavior of people whom you consider to be supremely confident. If you can befriend a very confident person, that’s great. But if not, just find an actor or other celebrity who is confidence personified, and study their behavior. Do this several times a week, and some of their confident mannerisms are bound to rub off on you.

11. Practice Being Thankful.

This one might seem a little weird and/or tedious. However, a grateful mind is a peaceful mind, and a peaceful mind radiates confidence. While you’re building your self image, practice making a daily gratitude list. Particularly focus on different aspects of yourself that you appreciate. Maybe you are a great swimmer, or good at math, or really strong, or a good dancer, or have an unusual sense of humor, or are good at design, or a great singer, or a really good friend, or any number of other positive attributes. Look for what is great about you, and then be grateful you have those qualities. Appreciating your good qualities will improve self-confidence, and help you develop the kind of positive self image that is crucial to success in life.

Action Steps

So, again, if you haven’t figured out what your mission is, that’s not a problem. It can be hard to go after your own thing if you don’t have the confidence in yourself to do so yet.

That said, even if you have your mission figured out but you’re not quite sure how to pursue it yet – don’t hesitate to start working these habits into your life. There’s a good chance you’ve already worked on a few of them, but utilizing all of them might possibly help boost your results.

career transition

Launching Your Career Transition: How Your Current 9 to 5 Can Become a Launchpad to Fulfilling Your New Personal Mission

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For many of us creatives, we come from a background of working a 9 to 5 job. Many of us weren’t lucky enough to grow up in a family who did business for themselves. So we’ve had to make the transition from working the corporate ladder to following our own dreams and goals.

Making this transition can be painful. Many times, bosses will be suspicious of our plans if they even hear about us starting our business. Or, even worse, they might see it as a threat and find ways to get rid of us.

For me, I can’t say it was all that difficult to quit the formal education world when I moved to full time at AMS. They had made it pretty clear that my “extracurricular” teachings weren’t appreciated all that much. In fact, one of them WAS threatened by what I was teaching. He thought I trying to keep people from pursuing a higher degree.

The truth was simpler than that: I just wasn’t all that great at being a math teacher. But what I was good at was helping people get better at being themselves.

Since then, I’ve thought about how this might have gone better for me. What could I have done differently that wouldn’t have threatened my coworkers so much? What I’ve realized as I’ve worked with others through the same issues here in the last couple of years, is that there was a couple of things I could have done better.

So, I thought I’d share those realizations with you in this post as well as some of the things I actually go right!

 

Show Interest in Your Colleagues

One thing that I could have definitely improved on what my interest in the lives of others. Back at that point, I was still learning how to converse with other people without coming off as a weirdo.

The secret to that is to learn about people without interrogating them. Just play it cool and find out if they have family or what their hobbies are. Find out what kind of problems they have in their job. People love to talk about themselves, so you’re just giving them a reason to actually talk to you.

They’ll probably appreciate it, too. The older you get, the more you realize that people are in their own little worlds. No one takes the time to learn about other people these days.

…and Your Boss

Those that are above you in the chain of command are usually there to manage others. If anything goes wrong, they step in and fix it.

That said, if you want to be recognized by your superiors, the best way is to find out how you can help them out. What kind of problems do they need help with? Can you help them? If so, what’s a solution to their problems?

The more you come up with good ideas to help them, the more valuable you’ll be viewed.

 

Become Interesting Yourself

As you become more interested in those around you at work, again, they’ll start to see you in a different light. If they have good people skills, they’ll ask you about you about your life just as you asked about them.

On top of talking about the typical things, now would be a great time to start sharing some of the core things that you’re interested in. Doing so will make you stand out. Mainly because people are used to others complaining in the typical daily routine.

 

Learn to Know When You’re Sharing Value vs Your Interests

After a few weeks or months in getting to know others, you might be realizing that some of people might be ignoring you. If so, this is because you might be sharing your interests a bit too much.

Instead of blatantly sharing your interests, do this instead:

As they probably know what your interests are and you know what their pain points are, ask yourself about what you know that can help them.

You don’t have to have every little thing figured out. Just show that you’ve noticed, have been thinking about it, and you’d love to chat about some potential solutions that you have in mind.

Those that appreciate solutions being solved might actually be blown away that you care enough to follow through with their pains. You might even gain a friend or two in the process!

 

Avoid Negativity as much as Possible

Because the world is the way it is, problems are usually discussed much more so than solutions. This is even more true in the workplace.

Now that some people start to recognize you as someone with solutions (or a fixer), they might start coming to you with other problems in their lives. “What do you think about this?” and “What do you think about what THEY’RE doing?”

At this point, you could easily bash some other person in favor of your own methods.

Being an ENTJ, this is what I naturally did. My judgement (the J in ENTJ) always lead first after them saying what the problem was. Then followed by the INtuitive Thinking.

This approach tended to get me into trouble.

Instead, what I started to do is communicate the fact that this is what I saw from their side. If I could see the other perspective, I would explain it to them. And then (this is what I got really good at) make an analogy. It’s my way of showing that I’m actually listening.

If you feel pressed to get solutions at that point, always come from a suggestion perspective: “Maybe the situation is this. Have you thought about this?”

If you refuse to go down that negative rabbit hole, then people will only see you as solutioned oriented.

 

Continue to Better Yourself

As you build these better relationships inside of current workplace, you should continue to build that “ahead of the curve forward thinker”. As I’ve said in recent posts, part of your personal mission is constantly build on your craft. You’ll be able to provide more value to those around you.

A lot of the time, you’ll need to get out of your comfort zone. In fact, nothing ever gets better unless you move out of your comfort zone. As you start to be recognized as a solution provider, sometimes you might have to say things that aren’t that friendly. But if someone has it coming, then you’ll be respected by those who matter.

And speaking of getting out of your comfort zone, it helps to look as if you do go the extra mile. If your office dresses a certain way, dress a little better than what’s considered normal. You want to stick out in a good way when opportunity comes knocking.

 

Action Steps

So there’s a few things that I’ve picked up along the way. A lot of which comes from my wife who’s had a career in HR. These are subjects that she has to deal with all the time – especially dealing with negativity and building connections with the right people.

So, tell me about you. If you’re in your 9 to 5 still, is this something that you could use to catapult yourself out of your current position? Have you already started with any of these techniques? What kind of success have you had?

I realize there are toxic offices out there that aren’t very supportive at all. If you find yourself in one of those, feel free to connect with me directly.

self mastery

12 Principles for Self Mastery: How I Went from a Scarcity Mindset to one of Abundance

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For me, it’s important to go over some of these past articles to see how far I’ve come. This one is another classic post from my days in LTD.

As I’ve expressed in several posts, it was during this time that I learned what would later become the foundation of all my entrepreneurial knowledge. It was inexpensive training that I thought (and still think) anyone could benefit from. That said, MLM’s are not for everyone. So that’s why I wrote these pieces early on – to help bring that knowledge to a wider group.

In this post originally dated December 4th, 2011, I list 12 principles which were really important to me at the time. They helped me move from a scarcity mindset to one that was more abundant.

If you’re looking for some good principles to base your self improvement on – this is a good place to start! Enjoy!

As you know, I’m making a major push in my life to actually get things done that I’ve wanted to achieve for several years now. One of those things is hire a professional coach. It’s been almost a year since mom passed, and I really need to get moving forward with creating a my own functional business. With the release of the LTD Media and Message Apps, I have been reminded more frequently of my Amway business, but truth be told – I haven’t taken much action. So I believe a coach there will surely help.

One thing I’ve realized during my time in LTD is that I want to surround myself with people who have an abundant thinking process. While not everyone has the same personality (some are more emotion oriented than others), I believe that living a life of abundance is something everyone can do.

It’s just a few core principles away – specifically 12.

So here are those principles I hope you can use to get out of whatever funk you might be finding yourself in!

The Principles of Self Mastery

1. Challenges aren’t Problems, They’re Opportunities

Problems are negative by definition. When you call a challenge an opportunity, then it’s turned into a positive situation where you can learn, grow, and meet your full potential.

2. Walls of Opportunity

With the previous statement, we see that obstacles in our life are there for us to grow and learn from. We can learn how to go over, go around, go under or exterminate problems in our lives. Once we do this, they’re no longer an unsolvable barrier to limit us from who we are.

3. Ideal or Nothing

It’s not ready, aim, fire. It’s ready, fire, aim. It is always better to take dumb action even though it’s not the exact action you want to take. Don’t miss opportunities because you’re trying to find or force the perfect one.

4. Time vs Priorities

Everyone that is, has been, or will be, has had the same amount of time in a day, week, month, and year (unless, of course, we colonize another planet with a different definition of time). With that said, the reason why people don’t achieve more in their life is because they don’t know how to prioritize better than what they’re currently prioritizing. Next time you’re tempted to say “I don’t have time,” remember yourself that you determined yourself that it was you who determined it wasn’t a high enough priority. Doing this will help you realize what you really value and how you can prioritize tasks and activities.

5. Good vs. Great

The enemy of Great isn’t bad – it’s good. Many times we don’t achieve something great because we didn’t do something bad, it’s because we did something good and settled for that particular result.

6. Thinking Not Knowing

Have you ever thought about the response “I don’t know” when you asked someone “What do you think?”? If you think about it, that’s not even the right response to that question. No one asked what the other person knows – they were asked what they thought. If someone asks you what you think, don’t be afraid to let them know what you think. If anything, you open up dialogue and communication with others.

7. The Multiplier Rule

When we take positive action, that action will be multiplied into two positive actions and so on. This rule could also be thought of as the Domino Effect as well as “adding a zero to a partner’s income”.

8. Values in Life

Whatever your values are, it is important to know what yours are and to make choices that are logically connected to them.

9. Roller Coaster Effect

Inconsistent action leads to a roller coaster effect of results. The more consistent your activity is in getting a result, the more likely it will be that you get that result. Consistent effort and follow through will make a huge difference in achieving your goals and dreams.

10. Focus and Duplication

You can do more with your time if you realize that 20% of your effort produces 80% of yours results. Once you know what 20%, spend your time on that 20% and figure out what tools, people, and systems can help with the other 80% of that effort. Don’t focus on making people exact copies of you – help them become a better version of themselves and show them where they fit into the big picture.

11. Stewardship

What gifts and traits do you naturally possess? What traits do others have? Figure out your strengths and share them with those less fortunate. If you do not, they will lose, but you will have the biggest loss. Help someone today!!

12. Never Quit

Mistakes and errors are learning opportunities. They’re not disastrous!! Learn from them and move on. You’ll be better the next time!! Failure to do so will result in disaster.

Action Steps

So really nothing to out of the ordinary here, right? I’ll tell you, when I first heard them, they made sense – but it didn’t seem like life could be THAT easy!!

Over time, though, I’ve realized that they have a ton of merit. Just like the Four Agreements.

Speaking of which, how do you think they relate to the Four Agreements or other rules that you might have heard? What would you add to this list? Let me know below in the comments!

 

relationship building

Making Winning Connections: Relationship Building Tips for Life and Business

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As the Junto is starting to grow, I realize that there’s going to be more and more opportunities for people to connect with others who are seemingly going the same direction as they are.

To make sure they are, here’s a few notes from a recent John Maxwell course called the Mentor’s Guide to Relationships. I hope you can use the information presented here to make sure that a pursuing a certain relationship is worth your time.

At the very least, I want to help you realize if you’re in a one way relationship. One that you might be putting way too much energy in yourself and not getting anything back from it.

So let’s start off by looking at the four different levels of relationships.

 

Four Levels of Relationships

Surface Relationships

Now, when you’re on social media (or anywhere else for that matter) and you’re just meeting someone – you’re engaging in the most basic and common form of a relationship. A surface relationship is one where there’s really no strong commitment from either person and it’s a very passive interaction.

An example of a surface level relationship is just randomly adding a “friend” on Facebook and they in turn accepting that request. You might have just added them to your friends list because they have a lot of mutual friends – even though you don’t really know who they are.

Acquaintances would be part of this this level.

Just remember, all real friends start off as strangers at one point. So, just give it some time if you want things to grow…

 

Structured Relationships

The next level of a relationship is what’s called the structured relationship. These relationships are with people who meet at certain times. This can mean daily, weekly, or monthly.

Generally speaking this type of routine based engagement is centered around some sort of interest or activity such as an Meetup. In the online business world, it might mean a mastermind group. Or in the typical offline world, it can mean a group of students.

Outside of that group, there’s not much meaning for those people to interact – so they don’t.

 

Secure Relationships

The next level of relationships are those that when members of a structured relationships start appreciating the bond.

At this level, trust begins to form as the need to spend more time together grows. Most of the time, these folks will have no problems sharing with each other. And there’s a bit of a comfort zone feeling with these folks.

When you were going to school, these were the study friends. Perhaps they were the friends  that you hung out with before games. Or maybe they were your fellow band friends who you’d play euchre with each day. But the main thing was that these folks started relying on you as you relied on them.

In business, this might be someone that you decide to joint venture with on a particular project such as a course or new podcast.

 

Solid Relationships

Next up, we have the highest of all relationships – the solid relationship. At this level, not only do full trust and confidentiality exist, but there is a need to give back to the other party if they’ve helped you in some way.

Of course, this is the basis for a long term relationship.

If we were to think of the school analogy, your close friends were (or are still) examples of this! While, in the business world, you’d start new businesses with these folks.

 

Avoid High Maintenance Relationships

When I first started dating Maria I had a very strong feeling of “normality” when we were together. She felt like someone that I had known for a long time.

Society suggests – especially TV – that a normal romantic relationship is something that has a lot of maintenance to it. Drama and fighting is to be expected – not calmly discussing the issues at hand.

The truth is that this shouldn’t be the case in ANY relationship you want to make long term – including romantic relationships!

So how do you know if you’re in a high maintenance relationship?

In his book, High Maintenance Relationships, author Les Parrott talks about 12 different types of people who it would be hard to get along with – especially over a significant amount of time.

  • Critic – constantly complains and gives unwanted advice.
  • Martyr – forever the victim and wracked with self-pity.
  • Wet Blanket – pessimistic and automatically negative.
  • Steam Roller – blindly insensitive to others.
  • Gossip – spreads rumors and leaks secrets.
  • Control Freak – unable to let go and let be.
  • Backstabber – irrepressibly two-faced.
  • Cold Shoulder – disengages and avoids contact.
  • Green Eyed Monster – seethes with envy.
  • Volcano – builds steam and is ready to erupt.
  • Sponge – constantly in need but gives nothing back.
  • Competitor – keeps track of tit for tat.

 

Are you with one of these types of individuals? If so, you might want to move on.

If you wouldn’t be in romantic relationships with someone with one or several of these particular traits, why would you want to be in business with them… or visa versa?

Going from Surface to Solid Relationships

In the past week, I’ve relearned how awkward people can be when it comes to developing real relationships. Whether it’s simple friendships, jv partnerships, or going after a life partner… the goal is to not be a weirdo.

Believe me, I learnt the hard way!

So how do you go from adding a friend on Facebook to making them a good friend, business partner, or building something that could be even more?

Here’s 5 traits of a solid relationship.

 

Mutual Enjoyment

Here’s the truth. Spend time with people who enjoy your presence. If you feel that you’re having to pry and overly try with the relationship, it’s probably not a good foundation and you should move on.

Don’t be an irritant!

 

Respect

What’s the best way to make sure you’re not an irritant?

Be respectful of the other person.

Forget the golden rule of treating people how you’d want to be treated. Instead, treat people like they would like to be treated.

What’s that mean?

Learn how they want to be interpreted. Find out their story. Be curious and let them be the storyteller. Find out where they went to school and for what. If they didn’t go to school, find out what they’ve learned “the hard way”.

If you’re unclear as to how to read a certain topic with them – don’t feel like you have to assume something – this usually works out negatively if you do. No question is dumb. Just say “I’m not sure how to ask this but…” if you’re completely unsure how to ask something.

Have a problem with them? Let them know. Likewise, if they feel like they have a problem with you, they should come to you about it.

Make a point to get to know someone, but not for manipulative purposes. If they tell you something that’s a secret, don’t tell anyone. If they are hesitant in a certain area, learn how to help bring out the best in them through their own permission.

 

Mutual Shared Experiences

There’s a reason why military veterans get along as well as they do even if they didn’t know each other prior to them first getting together.

What’s the reason?

They have shared similar experiences.

From day 1, they’re taught to trust each other to be part of a larger organism. When you count on someone to do a certain action which allows you to do your job, then you’re going to care about that other person more. Cause if they get taken out, then you won’t be able to do what you need to do properly.

Sports players are the same way.

When talking about developing a winning football team, Vince Lombardi said, “The difference between mediocrity and greatness is the feeling these guys have for each other.”

It makes sense. If the line doesn’t do their job and block, then the ball handlers can’t do their jobs. The result is that the ball doesn’t go anywhere.

 

Reciprocity

For the above teams to win, that caring feeling needs to be mutual between teammates – whether on a battlefield with bullets… or on the gridiron.

Right here is how you can tell if a relationship is worth your time to develop. If you feel like everything is running smoothly, then everything is fine.

However, if you feel that the other person is getting a better deal, bring it up with them. If they don’t acknowledge it, then it might be time to move onto another relationship.

If you feel like you’re getting a better deal, then it’s your job to make sure that they’re being evenly compensated.

 

Trust

Trust comes over time and is the result of the previous 4 traits humming along just fine. Don’t forget that intentions don’t really matter when it comes to other people.

It’s all about actions.

When your actions match your words, that’s how you build trust.

Just make sure that those actions are positive and truly helpful to the other party!

 

Action Steps

As you might have realize, relationships are something that I take seriously. There was a time when I wasn’t super great at them – so I made it a point to go out of my way to learn about them. If you want to learn more about building great relationships, I’d check out the book by John Maxwell and Les Parrott 25 Ways to Win with People: How to Make Others Feel Like a Million Bucks

As you probably know, I’m a big fan of John’s and he has ton’s on this topic!

good habits

Forming Good Habits through Chance: How Success Dice Can Help you Build Your Decision Making Skills with Andrew Kaplan (AoL 108)

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Procrastination is a reality for everyone in some form. Many people struggle day in and day out with getting things done that they know should be done.

Most of the time, those folks are struggling simply because they are playing a reactive role in life vs one that is proactive.

They let their circumstances control what they’re doing.

On the other hand, successful people choose what they’re going to do and then act accordingly.

But how do you know what’s right to act on? We can spend a ton of time and energy figuring out just that part.

But – what if you could have something that would help you decide what to work on or do next?

Today’s guest, Andrew Kaplan, has invented just that: Success Dice.

Like many of us, Andrew struggled with a lot of things in his life. In fact, at one point, he hit an all time low.

However, after creating the prototype of the success dice, he found himself achieving more than he ever had in years prior.

In this session, Andrew shares with us how Success Dice came to be, how they help him battle procrastination, and why we could all use them.

Enjoy!

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • How has his career helped lead him to where he’s at? 9:13
  • How did being a part of the Foundation help Andrew? 15:57
  • How can someone deal with procrastination in their lives? 23:41
  • What’s people’s main mistake when they’re trying to actually get things done? 29:43
  • How did the idea of the Success Dice begin? 31:41
  • Since there is an element of chance when using dice, how is using Success Dice beneficial in the long run? 35:41
  • Who are Andrew’s top 3 influencers? 43:26
  • What’s a fact from today that would blow the mind of someone from 10 years ago? 46:02
  • Smallest decision he’s made that has had the largest impact on his life? 48:34
  • What’s a service that doesn’t exist that he’d gladly pay for? 49:30
  • … and MUCH more!

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

 

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Introduction to Success Dice:

Tony Robbins on not letting the Opinions of Others Affect You:

Even Pagan on The New Wealth (pt1):

Kamal Ravikant talks Love and Entrepreneurship:

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

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And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes, Stitcher, Soundcloud, and/or Google Play Music. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

music education

Edwin Culver – Finding Meaning in Music – How Music Education Goes Beyond the Classroom (AoL 107)

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Lots of people want to change the world – but, unfortunately, they think that only government can do that.

So how do you help them change that belief? To one where they think anything is possible?

I personally believe that anyone can make change – it’s just a matter of finding your own personal Truth and then applying that knowledge to the world around you. Helping people in a way that is uniquely you.

Today’s guest is a great example of that.

Having been trained as a classical musician, Edwin Culver first started his career as a teacher. However, he soon realized that this wasn’t his calling. His students were not nearly as fascinated about the arts as much as he first hoped they’d be.

He wanted to change this – but he wasn’t going to do so from the inside.

Today, he has transitioned to performing more regularly and training those that want to actually learn. But, like any good educator knows, it’s important to know the background of what you’re teaching so that you can give your students can understand the full context of what they’re learning.

In today’s chat, you’ll find out how he ended up with this perspective and also what he’s done to further his own education. We also discuss how someone can become a musician like him AND how he applies some of the things that he learned during a short internship with Wallbuilders and Mercury One.

Enjoy!

 

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • How did Edwin go from being a music teacher to becoming an actual performing musician? 14:16
  • Is playing other people’s music as fulfilling as playing his own? 29:15
  • Why did Edwin apply for the Wallbuilders’ leadership internship this past summer at TheBlaze studios? 42:05
  • What kind of specific experiences did he have during his internship that were memorable? 51:59
  • Were there any lessons he had that he now applies directly to his work as a musician? 58:14
  • How can someone pursue a career in music? 1:07:37
  • What is he currently working on that he’s excited about? 1:11:30
  • 3 Influencers or teachers which helped him to where he’s at today? 1:14:57
  • What’s a gift Edwin likes giving others? 1:18:39
  • What was the smallest decision he’s made that had the largest impact on his life? 1:20:18
  • What’s a skill that he’s often surprised people lack today? 1:22:06
  • What is the secret to achieving personal freedom? 1:25:33
  • … and MUCH more!

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

 

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Choros No. 1 by Heitor Villa-Lobosh:

Beginning of Edwin Culver’s performance (8/2/17):

Edwin Discussing Dissonance (pt1):

Edwin Discussing Dissonance (pt2):

Edwin’s intern group at the Leadership Training Program:

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes, Stitcher, Soundcloud, and/or Google Play Music. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

how to overcome insecurity

How to Overcome Insecurity when You’re Starting Something New

/by

Do you feel insecure?

Maybe about your passions? That they’re not shared by anyone else?

Maybe you’re insecure about social situations. Perhaps you’re wondering what people are thinking about you?

Or, are you simply worried about putting your art into the world? Again, thinking that someone might compare it to some great artist? Or they’ll make fun of it – or you’re afraid of the feedback you might get?

 

These are all insecurities that most of us face from time to time. If you weren’t then you’re not human.

There’s a trick, though, to not letting them stop you from putting yourself out into the world in a meaningful way.

Actually, there’s 4 ideas that you can use on yourself to psych yourself into doing things for the first time.

 

Competence Means Confidence

For me, I hated the way I sounded on the AoL Podcast when I was first starting. However, as I grew into the craft of making the show, my brain just grew accustomed to that voice. And what I would hear in my mind after a while, wasn’t so much me, but it was more of the talent that was the host of the AoL Podcast.

I had the opportunity to make that person sound good.

2 years into the podcast, I get compliments by guests that I actually sound like I know what I’m doing.

Today, I’m facing the same thing when starting this new group thing. A part of it is doing Facebook lives. While I’m not posting every day, I have already done a couple of them. Still not completely used to my face yet, but I’m sure I’ll get over that as well.

So, the first thing you need to do is just start.

You’re not going to master the rest of your life in one day. Just relax. Master the day. Then just keep doing that every day.

You’ll see that that action will yield results which then yields new beliefs.

Then repeat the process!

overcome insecurity

Feedback Yields Power

Don’t tie your work or feelings to anyone’s approval. Even to this day, there are people out there who don’t like Harry Potter, Star Wars, Star Trek – you name it. If it exists, there’s more than likely going to be people who don’t like something.

However, those who do like your stuff, when they let you know that they like it – it means you’re going in the right direction.

If they have constructive criticism, that’s even better. Not only is someone showing you that they care enough to let you know what they thought about your work, but they’re giving you feedback in a way that matters.

As an entrepreneur and leader, that’s what you want from your followers. To have feedback so you can know how you can help them!

Don’t search for the attitude with them or even yourself – use it as a way to get better in you craft.

And finally, you can’t perfect something if you don’t have other’s input about it.

 

Rejection Doesn’t Happen that Often

Here’s the thing, you’ve probably already interacted with plenty of people in your life. Hundreds, if not thousands of people. From all of those people, how often have you really dealt with rejection?

In fact, what life actually tells us is that people are going to be indifferent about what you’re doing more than they’ll actually reject it.

The main reason that I think people reject something is that it starts out being seeing as one thing and then, for whatever reason, it changes.

For example – New Coke.

How many New Coke situations have you heard of in your life? Not many! (I’m still not too thrilled about them changing Coke Zero to Coke Zero Calorie. It’s not the same thing!)

If you’re newly putting yourself out into the world, people are going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you’re new.

Plus, there’s a heck of alot more supportive people in the world than trolls.

 

Your Soul Won’t Settle

Take it from me. Ever since I heard from Pat Flynn about the online business world in 2009, I’ve been wanting to follow in his footsteps.

Here it is, 2017, and I’m still not to the level I’d like to be. BUT I will mention that things are going better than i would have expected a year ago at this time.

I now have a plan for the future.

But I wouldn’t have had that plan if I hadn’t have taken action.

I would be still wondering “Can I? Will I? Should I?”

And frankly, that wasn’t going to cut it… for the rest of my life.

So, if you already have that aching suspicion that you’re supposed to be doing something else than you’re already doing – and you continue to put it off, then you’re always going to have to fight those demons.

Do yourself a favor and get started as soon as you can in doing the work that you’re meant to do.

Your mission is waiting for you.

Action Steps

If you’re in that place right now, whether you’re an experienced entrepreneur or not and you’re not sure if you’re ready for the next big thing…

Ask yourself this one question.

What does my gut tell me I need to do next?

If it’s telling you to get up and do something different, then do whatever it is.

If you think it might help, make a mission statement. Let the world know that this is who you and who you see yourself becoming. Not tomorrow, but eventually.

If you need help figuring out what your mission is, check out this interview with David Anderson. It’s quickly becoming one of my go to episodes as I answer this insecurity issue from time to time.